Panthera Sapiens Ellipsis: The Blog

...I'm typing this from my library, during a bit of a break in between classes. I've done a bit of work--not much, but some , and then I fell to reading my old blog posts. It strikes me that I've really not changed much at all since my A-Levels days; I still worry about the future, I still don't like not knowing the full impacts of my possible decisions before doing them, I still have a relatively bad temper even if it manifests a lot less these days, and I certainly still don't get good grades, although I've been reading Gladwell's Outliers and it seems that I needn't worry about being smarter than everybody else as long as I'm smart enough, however much enough might be. Then again, being a February baby explains how I've been more or less coasting along academic life, or at least I was during primary and secondary school--of course genetics comes into it somewhat, along with me being the firstborn, but then there's the early-birthday advant...

I don't think I've slept for more than six hours any day in the past two weeks or so; it's becoming increasingly common for me to sleep at four and wake at eight, and then keep dozing off whenever I can find an opportunity to do so--yesterday I did it while in classes and then at a Campus Crusade meeting after classes--and of course the recurring problem is that whenever I'm tired I become more taciturn than usual, and then people start thinking I'm depressed or pondering something or preoccupied, or else all the scum in me rises to the top because I've no energy to think twice or suppress the urges... even if today is a public holiday it doesn't mean I'm going to get more rest than usual. At least, if I manage to stick to the schedule I might, but my mind feels like a packet of cotton wool at the moment. I went out for something of a jog last night with a friend, and at the end of it we decided it was a bad idea. But then it's never seemed to turn o...

I'm horrendously tired at the moment. They say opposites attract. I find this is rather, oddly, true of most of the people I hang out with; somehow they're all the boisterous kind, full of bobance and bounce, whose life is fricasseed eels and I'm channeling Puddleglum today, it seems. But 'tis true; it was driven home today, when I spent a strange couple of hours doing what was meant to be "chillaxing" (the etymology eludes me); I was there, with Announce-chan and two other friends, whom I think I've not yet named, or if I've named them before I've forgotten it. I should go into further detail so as to provide an adequate context for my narrative. Since the 27th (the date of the last post!), there has hardly been a day that I didn't have a meeting of some sort, or people to discuss things with or homework to catch up to or a project that needed rushing. My Google Calendar, the main way I keep track of all the things I need to do, assures me tha...