Panthera Sapiens Ellipsis: The Blog

Well. It's nearly a month since the last post... and of course plenty has happened since then. Even if nothing had I would still be able to type for an hour about all the nothingness that had happened, and now I have three weeks to fill in. Not that I will, of course; but I might as well record some of the things that, hm, stand out more in my memory from the past month. I suppose it would be a good idea to start from, let's say, about two weeks ago--the week before the Chinese New Year week-long holiday, since that was quite a time. So we'll start from that. It wasn't a very good week; not many of the weeks preceding it had been good, either, since what with one thing and another it had always seemed like everything was a rush to get things together before the factory shut down for the week; and when your entire job scope revolves around future planning (and not very dependable a future either), having one week effectively rendered null and void is something of a handi...

There are times, like now, when I wonder if I’ve ever been really competent at anything in my life. Not to say I’ve not been able to do some things well, and enjoy doing them; I’ve managed to win two NaNoWriMos in a row even if I’ve never been able to make it to the celebratory gatherings, and I still retain a little (very little) of my ability at the piano, and every now and then I even say something witty that I hadn’t just read somewhere and was waiting for an opportunity to use. But I never seem, come to think of it, to really have been good at whatever it was that I was being expected to do. At least, I don’t think I was ever a good student. And now, even three months after starting work and having been confirmed as a passable worker, I don’t think I’m anything like my own definition of competent. It’s possibly personality; the way I think bleeds over into the way I work, and there’s very little I can do to stop it; the same goes for my co-workers, of course. My senior is the sl...