Panthera Sapiens Ellipsis: The Blog

I hate being dependent. I hate having to wait and see and remind people that I need things from them, and then waiting and reminding again. Mostly I hate telling people I need things from them, especially when I can't give them anything in return. This is probably a form of pride, that says I ought to be self-sufficient enough to not have my standard of life depend on other people; it's also a form of fear, because I don't think any human exists who's so trustworthy that I can depend unconditionally on them for anything and everything. Only One such exists, and He is not human, although He once was. (And for all I know, from His perception He still is.) ...problems in my life tend to revolve around a few things. I'm a simple person--at least I like to think so--my problems tend to revolve around money, electronics, time, and me. Occasionally other people are problems too, but I'm so good at running away from my people problems that I rarely have any sort of long

My mood changes much too easily for my liking. I know I don't seem terribly emotional to most people, or at least I don't often project an enthusiastic appearance, but still. Or at least, that was what I was thinking on the bus just now on the way back from the Bible study I attend weekly after church; today I happened to stay a bit later than usual and so by the time I got back the canteen was almost closed (fortunately I still managed to get dinner) but the minimart was closed and so I have no breakfast provisions for tomorrow. I'm sure I'll survive, of course, though my supervisor may not be best pleased if I am completely enervated. It probably doesn't help that I was terribly tired yesterday and I should sleep soon or I'll be terribly tired tomorrow. Take that as cause for randomness. On the other hand, when I'm tired I lose most of my selfcontrol and so this post may deviate considerably from my regular behavioural style. But then when I'm typing s

Today was the first day of my internship, and of the internships of everybody in my course, and of the internships of many other people not in my course; at the briefing there were easily upwards of a thousand people, and even then some people surely did not attend, especially those who have successfully applied to have their internship carried out overseas. Suffice it then to say that I will name the company that I work with as K.J. Question, and I will not disclose anything of the company's information here except to say that they deal with edibles. In any case what you'll get is a heap of personal opinion anyway, nothing that could possibly make you want to buy or sell their shares! Let me therefore go through my description of today's events, and the events behind them, in great and mind-numbing detail. Now it is the custom of the University that most of the students are, in their third year of study, obliged to take 6 months of the year up in an internship at some comp

I'm in So Hour--in fact this is my third day here, if you count the day I arrived as one day unto itself; and I shall be here for a total of five days, if you count the day I arrived and the day I shall leave as days unto themselves: if you count each of those as half-days then I shall be here a total of four days. So far things haven't changed much: the cousins are engrossed in the latest of a long series of online games, which turns the wireless Internet speed to mush; the aunts and uncle are kept busy in maintaining domestic life with the occasional help from the cousins; the grandparents oversee everything and do their share of stuff. In fact the only completely non-contributing person in the household is myself, but that's because I'm a guest and so everybody dotes on me, including the cousins younger than myself (which is all of them, because I am the oldest grandchild on this side of the family). I'm almost perfectly content. It doesn't take very much to

I am actually typing this at 11am, but I am going to set the time options so that it's actually posted at 8.10pm for the simple, geeky reason that if I do so, the first post of the 2010 (and suddenly a part of me wants to comment on my own post and scream "FIRST!!!!!!!!1111onetwothree" ) will be posted at 20:10, 1/1/2010; I suddenly also wish to post date this to gain the 10:20, 1/1/2010 timestamp just for the symmetry. At any rate, it's the New Year, and suddenly I'm realising that I didn't make very many resolutions. Maybe it's my old habit of not liking to be definite about random stuff, or maybe I'm just unwilling to commit to any particular mode of behaviour; at any rate it's nearly half the first day of the new year gone by and I've still no resolutions. Of course the rational bit of me says it's ridiculous to imagine that we've really got a chance of being all new and different now that the old year's past; but at any rate th