Panthera Sapiens Ellipsis: The Blog

Both Marsh and Easy Kill have made statements to the effect that I appear to be completely relaxed and stress-free. I didn't know that--and in any case anybody who reads this should know by now that I worry too much about too many things... apparently neither of them reads, though. Easy Kill spends a lot of time online and Marsh... well, Marsh is going the way of Gene. Apparently my habit of sleeping through uninteresting classes (Economics and Chemistry, so far) has given them the erroneous impression that I'm perfectly able to cope with anything the professors happen to throw at us in the way of information, and now they seem to regard me as some sort of incredibly lazy demi-genius. I had to shatter that impression, but it made me wonder how I gave it off in the first place... It's easy to see that Marsh is stressed out; he insists on telling everybody he meets that "it's all about the effort you put in", that "school is difficult", that "he...

I woke up at 1pm today, after 5 hours of sleep. You got that right: I went to sleep at 8am this morning. It's not the first time; after all, I did it once before. I merely did it this time with different people. It turns out the Emoticon and the Corn have taken a strong liking to each other, and since the Corn is (or was; I don't know if she won the election) on the Hall Committee and was finishing off a Vote-For-Me poster late last night, she somehow dragged the Emoticon out of his room, two blocks away, to accompany her in the TV room while she painted. And since my room commands a very convenient view of that particular TV room (and vice versa), I got dragged out of my room too, to accompany them. I didn't complain too much since I wasn't doing much more than playing BeJeweled and Virtual Villagers at the time. So we sat around and and chitchatted, excepting the time when the Corn's foot (my goodness, what a pun) got stuck to some wet paint and she had to find so...

[Wednesday, July 18] I haven't gotten a chance to go online at all for ages now... I must have gotten too used to having constant access to the Net (well, not quite constant, but at least it was there) and now that I'm back in the Gorillas' house, going online has become vastly more difficult. It's rather annoying how the local topography seems to resist allowing us to go online from here: the Gorilla says there's a hill at the back of the house (where the computer is) that blocks the wireless connection; and the front of the house is too crowded, as well as having too few sockets, to allow us to try from there with any amount of ease. So I'm typing this on the desktop that isn't used for much more than printing or the children's games... My laptop has been delayed twice. Well, I suppose it's actually only been delayed once, but from my point of view it's twice... you see, I ordered my laptop from So Hour. (Which reminds me I should record some m...

[Tuesday, 20th March] I still can't quite bring myself to believe that I've already been at work for almost a month now. But then I've fallen into the routine so easily that I might have been doing this forever. Of course I hardly see anybody outside my uncle's family now, except on weekends when I get into a flurry of social activity (which, rather unsurprisingly, includes staying on MSN Messenger into the wee hours of the night) or go shopping for whatever I think I want this week. There seems to be a bit of a sale on at the moment, though, so I don't eat into my finances too much. ...Right now seems like a pretty good time to go into depression, actually, what with the STPM and SPM results just coming out and my green-eyed monster going into hyperactivity. *sigh* I have a feeling I'm going to be struggling with this one for a long, long time. I don't like it--it's depressing and it always activates my inner Mom's voice ("If only you'd stu...

I began work today, in my uncle's office in PJ. The distance of the office from my current location (I've only been there three or four times before and I got lost on the bus there) means that I have to move into my uncle's house tomorrow if I want to stand any chance of actually getting to work on time... of course, I'm not bringing my entire load there, just some clothes to wear during the week. Home clothes and office clothes, as I call them. Which quite likely spells the end of all my past-midnight chatting. That's sad. On the other hand, I might get to go online during office hours. That's nice... Maybe I'll follow Velary's lead and put up four or five posts a week. Working ought to expose me to loads of stuff to write about, besides my own complexes and over-dramatised mood swings. And, of course, the nothingness that is my life nowadays. It's almost a miracle if I ever manage to drag myself out of bed before 10 these days. [one week later] Yes...

Dear blog, I have decided to begin this way because I guess it's starting to become habit... five weeks of journalling does grow on one, it seems... I hope I keep the habit up, it really seems to help especially when I'm trying to put some concept into words, writing somehow helps get everything into focus... I came back yesterday to techonology from the RBS of 2007 (incidentally, if you're still reading, Colin, hi...) and right now I think I'm starting the expected slump into depression... I always get depressed after possible long-term separations. Quite likely the most appealing thing to me in Christianity, apart from the fact that it has a loving God and certain forgiveness of sin, is the fact that we get eternity to get to know each other with no separation. (This would only be appealing, obviously, if everybody was made perfect. Which, incidentally, is yet another attractive thing about the idea of heaven--as opposed to reincarnation, which is extremely depressing...