It's Not That Kind of Game After All
It's been a bit of a weird time for me, I suppose. There's a lot of changes going on and maybe this is what it's like to have a quarter-life crisis. It's definitely something of an upheaval...
So, let's start at the very beginning. Context and information are always priorities with me, aren't they? Perhaps it's because they're so important in my work - but then, I seem to have had these things from a very long time ago. And it's nearly three months since my last post...
Well, let's begin. First off - I'm a secretive person, by nature or by nurture, I don't think I'll ever know. But I'm also honest - when confronted with difficult questions, I tend to evade, give confusing rephrases, ignore, or deliberately misunderstand them, unless I think the answer is so important to the questioner that any discomfort from the answer is outweighed by the gains from the answer. So if some parts of this are obscure to you, Dear Reader, it's quite understandable. You needn't know everything, after all.
So what, perhaps, you really need to know here, is that there is a growing dissatisfaction in me with myself; not that I was ever fully content with me, before - that is, I think, fairly obvious - but that circumstances have developed so that it is all but impossible to ignore. Influences? I suppose you could cite family, friends - one friend in particular, who probably gets constantly frustrated at the thought of me - circumstances, work, introspection, media consumed - almost anything, really. And of course I've dealt with it before; my usual tactics for this sort of thing are deliberate ignorance, rationalisation, a bit of pacification. Which, I suppose, are quite good indicators of the kind of personality I have.
But those aren't as effective as they've been in the past, and I'm being forced to take action. Slow, painful action, and probably not very effective action, but that's one of the lessons I think I'm being forced into learning. But all in good time.
Let us confront the issues I am facing - this will, of course, not be an exhaustive list. Not with the way this blog is so easily found, so easily read. Hm. But the following issues are naturally of a sensitive nature; perhaps I should obscure them somehow. So I shall. Not an alphabetical cipher, of course. That would be too easy to decrypt. I shall use - let's see - yes, I think that will be better - and it's fair for you, this way. The following text will, dear Reader, be obscured in the following way.
1. The entire following paragraph/s will be changed into a numerical string according to a cipher that I just made up, but which may/may not be immediately easy to decipher for you if you recognise its pattern.
2. The numerical string will be changed into another numerical string according to a certain simple mathematical formula.
3. I will change that into an alphabetical string based on arbitrary criteria.
And so follows the meaningful gibberish.
Iqtszdzd, zdtsaw xg rtsaqowew iqowaweq aweqts xfarawiqqcgw wsqcgawxg xfuq qsts qeww iqxfcgoq owewiqqcgwxg. Iqeqowrseq qstsqewxg - owew xfcgwtscg - aweqqaw ow iqowzdzd rts wowxgrsarxgxgowewaq iqxfcgoq, aweqtsew qszf rxfwzf, aweqtsew qszf owewewtscg rowawxg. Xgxf ewxfiq, iqxfcgoq. Ow cgtsrstsewawzdzf iqqxg wscgxfqsxfawtsw awxf aweqts iwq tsewaqowewtstscg xfuq aweqts wszdqewaw, qeww zdqxgaw iqtstsoq aweqts aqqs xgwsxfoqts awxf qsts. Eqts xgqzfxg eqts eqqxg wszdqewxg uqxfcg qszf uqarawarcgts - uqxfcg qsts qeww xgxfqsts xfuq aweqts xfaweqtscg wstsxfwszdts owew aweqts wszdqewaw awxf rts aqcgxfxfqstsw owewawxf qsqewqaqtscgxg, aweqtsew owewawxf uqqrsawxfcgzf xfcg aqtsewtscgqzd qsqewqaqtscgxg qeww xgtsewaw xfuquq awxf zdtsqw owew xfaweqtscg, ewtsiq rcgqewrseqtsxg xfuq aweqts rsxfqswsqewzf. qszf qsqewqaqtscg qzdxgxf eqqw q awqzdoq iqowaweq qsts, owew iqeqowrseq xgeqts xgqzfxg xgeqts aweqowewoqxg ow qs q aqxfxfw tsewaqowewtstscg, qxg ow eqqvdts awtsrseqewowrsqzd oqewxfiqzdtswaqts qeww q aqxfxfw qsoweww qeww qqs wscgtsawawzf iqowzdzdowewaq awxf iqxfcgoq - xfrvdowxfarxgzdzf, xgeqts wxftsxgew aw oqewxfiq ow cgtswwowaw qxg qsarrseq qxg ow wxf. raraw ow wxfew aw oqewxfiq owuq aweqqaw xg aweqts wsqaweq ow iqqewaw awxf iqqzdoq wxfiqew, rtsrsqarxgts qaw aweqts tseww xfuq aweqts cgxfqw ow xgtsts zftsqcgxg qeww zftsqcgxg xfuq awcgzfowewaq awxf iqxfcgoq iqowaweq xgarwstscgowxfcgxg qeww wststscgxg qeww xgarrxfcgwowewqawtsxg, qzdzd xfxgawtsewxgowrzdzf awcgzfowewaq awxf qrseqowtsvdts aweqts xgqqsts aweqowewaq raraw wsxfawtsewawowqzdzdzf qrsawarqzdzdzf iqxfcgoqowewaq qaw rscgxfxgxg-wsarcgwsxfxgtsxg. owaw xg qzdcgtsqwzf eqqwswstsewowewaq ewxfiq, quqawtscg qzdzd. ow awcgzf awxf aqowvdts aweqts rsarxgawxfqstscgxg aweqts cgtswszdowtsxg qeww qrsawowxfewxg aweqtszf iqqewaw, qeww aqowvdts qszf qsqewqaqtscg iqeqqaw xgeqts iqqewawxg, qeww rts uqcgowtsewwzdzf iqowaweq qszf wststscgxg iqeqowzdts oqewxfiqowewaq aweqtsowcg wtswsqcgawqstsewaw iqqewawxg xgxfqstsaweqowewaq xfaweqtscg aweqqew iqeqqaw qszf wtswsqcgawqstsewaw iqqewawxg, qeww aweqtsew wtsqzd iqowaweq qszf xgarrxfcgwowewqawtsxg, iqeqxf rsqew xgqzf qzdzd aweqtszf iqqewaw aweqqaw aweqtszf cgts awcgzfowewaq awxf wxf rtsawawtscg tsvdtscgzf wqzf qeww aweqqaw aweqtszf cgts zdxfzfqzd qeww tsvdtscgzfaweqowewaq, raraw owew aweqts tseww iqqewaw awxf aqtsaw qxg qsarrseq wsqzf qxg wsxfxgxgowrzdts uqxfcg wxfowewaq qxg zdowawawzdts iqxfcgoq qxg wsxfxgxgowrzdts. wstscgeqqwsxg tsvdtscgzfrxfwzf iqqewawxg aweqqaw, qaw eqtsqcgaw, raraw ow uqzdqawawtscg qszfxgtszduq aweqqaw ow qqs q zdowawawzdts qsxfcgts warawzf-rxfareww aweqqew aweqqaw. xgawowzdzd, ow wxfew aw oqewxfiq owuq aweqts zdowuqts xfuq eqowaqeqtscg qsqewqaqtsqstsewaw owxg xfewts aweqqaw ow iqowzdzd rts rsxfqsuqxfcgawqrzdts iqowaweq. owew uqqrsaw ow eqqvdts q xgarxgwsowrsowxfew aweqqaw ow iqxfarzdw wxf iwarowawts iqtszdzd owew q awtsrseqewowrsqzd/ qwqsowewowxgawcgqawowvdts wsxfxgowawowxfew - xgxfqstsaweqowewaq awxf wxf iqowaweq, wstscgeqqwsxg, awtsrseqewowrsqzd xgawqewwqcgwxg qeww owewuqxfcgqsqawowxfew aqqaweqtscgowewaq/ qcgcgqewaqtsqstsewaw/ wowxgxgtsqsowewqawowxfew/ qewqzdzfxgowxg qeww awcgqowewowewaq, iqowaweq qxg uqtsiq xgarrxfcgwowewqawtsxg qxg wsxfxgxgowrzdts - qsxfcgts zdowoqtszdzf q aqcgxfarws xfuq wststscgxg iqeqtscgts zdowewtsxg xfuq owewuqzdartsewrsts cgqew eqtszdawtscg-xgoqtszdawtscg qeww iqowaweq xgxfqsts uqcgtstswxfqs qeww q rxfxgxg. raraw ow wxfew aw oqewxfiq xfuq qewzf xgarrseq txfrxg, iqeqtscgts qzdzd xfewts tsxgxgtsewawowqzdzdzf wxftsxg owxg rtsrsxfqsts aweqts rsxfqswsqewzf xg zdowrcgqcgzf qeww cgtswsxfxgowawxfcgzf xfuq owewuqxfcgqsqawowxfew. owaw iqxfarzdw rts q rsxfxfzd aweqowewaq awxf wxf, aweqxfaraqeq. qaw qewzf cgqawts, ow xgtstsqs eqtsqwtsw xfew aweqts wsqaweq xfuq rtsowewaq cgtsxgwsxfewxgowrzdts uqxfcg tsewawowcgts wtswsqcgawqstsewawxg qeww aweqtscgtsuqxfcgts uqxfcg wstsxfwszdts, qeww aweqqaw owxg ewxfaw xgxfqstsaweqowewaq aweqqaw xgwsqcgoqxg qszf owewewtscg uqowcgts. raraw ow wxfew aw oqewxfiq iqeqqaw ow xgeqxfarzdw wxf qrxfaraw aweqowxg, owuq owewwtstsw qewzfaweqowewaq rsqew rts wxfewts qaw qzdzd. aweqtscgts qcgts qzdxgxf owxgxgartsxg qaw iqxfcgoq, xfuq rsxfarcgxgts. aweqtscgts qcgts qsqewzf wscgxfrzdtsqsxg - vdqcgowxfarxg xfewaqxfowewaq xgarwswszdowtscg/ rsarxgawxfqstscg owxgxgartsxg, wstscgxgxfewewtszd awcgqowewowewaq wszdqewxg qeww aweqts rtsawawtscgqstsewaw aweqtscgtsxfuq, rstscgawqowew wscgxfrstswarcgtsxg aweqqaw xgeqxfarzdw rts owqswszdtsqstsewawtsw xfcg owqswscgxfvdtsw, wxfrsarqstsewawqawowxfew ewxfaw rtsowewaq wscgxfwstscgzdzf uqowzdtsw xfcg oqtswsaw, tsiwarowwsqstsewaw iqowaweq qszfxgawtscgowxfarxg qsqzduqarewrsawowxfewxg, rsqzdowrcgqawowxfewxg aweqqaw ow ewtsvdtscg xgtstsqs awxf eqqvdts aweqts xfwswsxfcgawarewowawzf awxf wstscguqxfcgqs raraw xfaraqeqaw awxf qewzfiqqzf - qeww aweqtsxgts awqoqts arws xgxf qsarrseq xfuq qszf awowqsts qeww tsewtscgaqzf aweqqaw ow ewtsvdtscg xgtstsqs awxf eqqvdts tsewxfaraqeq xfuq q wscgtsxgtsewaw awxf wszdqew xfaraw qszf uqarawarcgts. xgxf aweqqaw xg iqxfcgoq - q qsxfcgqxgxg xfuq ts81wstsrsawqawowxfewxg qeww wtsxgowcgtsxg qeww tsqsxfawowxfewxg qeww qrsawowxfewxg qeww rsxfqsqsarewowrsqawowxfew aweqqaw ow iqqwts owewawxf tsvdtscgzf wqzf, qeww awcgzf awxf wtsqzd iqowaweq qxg rtsxgaw ow rsqew (aqowvdtsew aweqqaw qszf warqsws xgawqaw iqqxg qwswsqcgtsewawzdzf rseqqcgowxgqsq) - qeww, iqtszdzd, owaw xgtstsqsxg ow qs wxfowewaq iqtszdzd tsewxfaraqeq awxf aqtsaw q cgqowxgts qeww q wscgxfqsxfawowxfew. raraw ow wxfew aw oqewxfiq owuq ow rsqew wxf aweqowxg uqxfcg vdtscgzf zdxfewaq. qeww ewxfiq xfew awxf qszf rxfwzf. owaw xg ewxfaw owew q vdtscgzf aqxfxfw xgeqqwsts, qeww xgxfqstsawowqstsxg ow wxfew aw oqewxfiq owuq ow rsqcgts vdtscgzf qsarrseq qrxfaraw aweqqaw. qsqzfrts ow vdts eqtszdw aweqts rcgqowewxg-vdxg-rcgqiqew wowrseqxfawxfqszf (qeww xfuq rsxfarcgxgts ow eqqvdts qzdiqqzfxg rsxfqsts wxfiqew uqowcgqszdzf xfew aweqts rcgqowewxg xgowwts) uqxfcg xgxf zdxfewaq aweqqaw ow vdts rsxfqsts awxf q vdtscgzf ewtsqcgzdzf aqewxfxgawowrs wtsxgwsowxgts uqxfcg aweqowxg zdarqsws xfuq wseqzfxgowrsqzd uqzdtsxgeq aweqqaw ow arxgts; wstscgeqqwsxg owaw owxg qszf cgtsrsxfaqewowawowxfew aweqqaw ow eqqvdts qsqewzf oweweqtscgowawtsw wseqzfxgowrsqzd uqzdqiqxg. ewxfaw aweqqaw ow qs xgarowrsowwqzd; raraw wstscgeqqwsxg owaw owxg tsqxgowtscg awxf xgqzf aweqqaw ow eqqvdts zdtsxgxg rsxfewrstscgew uqxfcg qszf wseqzfxgowrsqzd xgawqawts aweqqew qsxfxgaw. ow wxf ewxfaw xgtsts qszfxgtszduq zdowvdowewaq vdtscgzf uqqcg wsqxgaw uqowuqawzf; qsqzfrts ewxfaw tsvdtsew awxf aweqqaw. rzf aweqqaw qstsqxgarcgts, aweqowxg owxg qszf qsoww-zdowuqts rscgowxgowxg. xgxf qsqzfrts aweqowxg owxg q awowqstszdzf xfrsrsqxgowxfew awxf uqcgtsaw aweqtsxgts aweqowewaqxg xfaraw. ow wxf ts81tscgrsowxgts aweqtsxgts wqzfxg; ow cgarew, qeww wxf iqtsowaqeqawxg, qeww xgiqowqs, raraw qsqzfrts aweqqaw owxg qsxfcgts xfaraw xfuq q aqcgxfiqowewaq xgtsewxgts xfuq vdqewowawzf aweqqew xfaraw xfuq xgtszduq-rsxfewrstscgew. qsqzfrts vdqewowawzf owxg aweqts uqowcgxgaw xgawtsws awxf q rtsawawtscg xfwsowewowxfew xfuq qszf rxfwzf. raraw qzdzd aweqts xgqqsts, ow aweqowewoq ow iqxfarzdw iqtszdrsxfqsts wtsqaweq owuq ewxfaw uqxfcg aweqts warawowtsxg owaw iqxfarzdw uqxfcgrsts qsts awxf zdtsqvdts arewuqowewowxgeqtsw, uqxfowxgawtsw arwsxfew xfaweqtscg wstsxfwszdts qaqqowewxgaw aweqtsowcg iqowzdzd. wstscgeqqwsxg aweqowxg xfvdtscgaqcgxfiqew xgtsewxgts xfuq cgtsxgwsxfewxgowrowzdowawzf owxg q aqxfxfw aweqowewaq, quqawtscg qzdzd. iqtszdzd, aweqqaw iqqxg xgeqxfcgaw tsewxfaraqeq; raraw aweqtsew ow vdts rtstsew wsqzfowewaq xgxf zdowawawzdts qawawtsewawowxfew awxf qszf rxfwzf, uqxfcg xgxf zdxfewaq - xfaweqtscg aweqqew rarzfowewaq zdqcgaqtscg qeww zdqcgaqtscg rszdxfaweqtsxg tsvdtscgzf ewxfiq qeww aweqtsew - aweqqaw aweqowxg owxg iwarowawts xgaruquqowrsowtsewaw wtsxgrscgowwsawowxfew uqxfcg ewxfiq. qszf owewewtscg xgtszduq? aweqqaw xg aqxfowewaq awxf rts aweqts zdxfewaqtsxgaw, qsarxgeqowtsxgaw rowaw. zfxfar qzdcgtsqwzf oqewxfiq xgxfqsts xfuq qszf rsarcgcgtsewaw aweqxfaraqeqawxg qeww uqtstszdowewaqxg uqcgxfqs aweqts wscgtsvdowxfarxg xgtsrsawowxfew. uqowcgxgaw xfuquq - ow qqs, qwswsqcgtsewawzdzf, qaw zdtsqxgaw rsarcgcgtsewawzdzf, owewawws, iqeqowrseq qstsqewxg ow eqqvdts q zdxfarxgzf aqcgqxgws xfew qszf owewewtscg zdowuqts. raraw ow qzdxgxf eqqvdts rtstsew zdowvdowewaq q wxfarrzdts zdowuqts uqxfcg ewtsqcgzdzf q wtsrsqwts ewxfiq. ow qqs qawawcgqrsawtsw awxf qstsew, qeww eqqvdts zdqowew iqowaweq q aqxfxfw ewarqsrtscg xfuq aweqtsqs. ow zdxfxgaw qszf vdowcgaqowewowawzf owew aweqts uqowcgxgaw zftsqcg xfuq arewowvdtscgxgowawzf, raraw rsqew wqawts qszf rscgarxgeqtsxg xfew qstsew rqrsoq awxf xgtsrsxfewwqcgzf xgrseqxfxfzd; qaw aweqqaw awowqsts owaw iqqxg iwarowawts xgowqswszdzf aweqts xgowawarqawowxfewqzd rsowcgrsarqsxgawqewrstsxg aweqqaw wscgtsvdtsewawtsw qsts uqcgxfqs qrsawowewaq, ewxfaw uqxfcg aweqts zdqrsoq xfuq qawawtsqswsawowewaq. aweqowxg eqqxg rtstsew, ow xgarwswsxfxgts, q aqcgtsqaw eqowewwcgqewrsts awxf qewzf qawawtsqswsaw qaw owewawtsaqcgowawzf owew qszf zdowuqts; ow eqqvdts awxfzdw xfewzdzf rszdxfxgts uqcgowtsewwxg - qeww, xfuq rsxfarcgxgts, qszf xgts81arqzd wsqcgawewtscgxg - wowcgtsrsawzdzf, qeww owuq zfxfar qcgts qrzdts awxf wsar65616561zdts xfaraw aweqowxg awts81aw aweqtsew ow xgarwswsxfxgts zfxfar eqqvdts xgeqxfiqew zfxfarcgxgtszduq rsxfewrstscgewtsw qeww wtsawtscgqsowewtsw tsewxfaraqeq awxf aqqowew aweqowxg oqewxfiqzdtswaqts, uqxfcg qzdzd aweqts aqxfxfw owaw qsqzf wxf zfxfar. qszf xgwsowcgowawarqzd zdowuqts owxg xgxfqstsaweqowewaq xfuq q xgeqqqsrzdtsxg; qszf owewqrowzdowawzf awxf xgtsewxgts ewxfewwseqzfxgowrsqzd aweqowewaqxg (wstscgeqqwsxg ts81qrstscgrqawtsw rzf qszf xgtsewxgts-eqtsqvdzf zdowuqtsxgawzfzdts) ts81awtsewwxg awxf aweqowxg, qeww ow rsxfewxgawqewawzdzf xgawcgaraqaqzdts iqowaweq aweqts owwtsq aweqqaw ow qs tarxgaw... awqzdoqowewaq awxf eqowqs iqowaweqxfaraw eqqvdowewaq qewzf uqqrsarzdawzf xfuq wtsrsowwseqtscgowewaq q cgtswszdzf, owuq aweqtscgts owxg xfewts qaw qzdzd. qsqzfrts aweqowxg owxg qew qcgawowuqqrsaw uqcgxfqs qszf awowqsts owew aweqts rseqqcgowxgqsqawowrs rseqarcgrseq, iqeqtscgts owaw iqqxg tarxgaw aqtsewtscgqzdzdzf arewwtscgxgawxfxfw - owuq ewxfaw xfarawcgowaqeqaw xgqoww xgxf - aweqqaw aqxfw rsxfqsqsarewowrsqawtsw, owew vdowxgowrzdts qeww xgxfqstsawowqstsxg qarwowrzdts xfcg awqrsawowzdts iqqzfxg, qeww ow ewtsvdtscg woww. wstsxfwszdts qzdzd qcgxfareww qsts iqxfarzdw xgwstsqoq owew awxfewaqartsxg xfcg wqewrsts xfcg uqqzdzd wxfiqew qeww iqcgowaweqts zdowoqts xgewqoqtsxg xfcg xgtsts vdowxgowxfewxg xfcg xgwstsqoq wscgxfwseqtsrsowtsxg, qeww iqeqtsew ow zdqoww wxfiqew ow xfewzdzf uqtszdaw zdowoqts aweqts uqxfxfcg iqqxg rsxfzdw qeww ow iqxfarzdw zdxfxfoq qcgxfareww awxf xgtsts owuq ow xgeqxfarzdw aqtsaw arws qzdcgtsqwzf xfcg owuq ow xfaraqeqaw awxf zdqzf wxfiqew q rowaw zdxfewaqtscg. qeww qsqzfrts aweqqaw xg aqowvdtsew qsts arewcgtsqxgxfewqrzdts ts81wstsrsawqawowxfewxg. tsvdtsew ewxfiq, ow wxfew aw oqewxfiq iqeqqaw aqxfw rsqew wxf awxf/ qcgxfareww qsts awxf owqswscgxfvdts aweqowewaqxg - raraw ow xgarxgwstsrsaw aweqqaw eqts eqqxg qewxgiqtscgtsw aweqqaw, qxg zdtsqxgaw wsqcgawowqzdzdzf, aweqcgxfaraqeq q uqcgowtseww iqeqxf eqqxg rtstsew wxfowewaq q zdxfaw xfuq eqtsqcgaw-awxf-eqtsqcgaw awqzdoqowewaq iqowaweq qsts. iqeqowrseq owxg aweqts wscgxfrzdtsqs, xgxfqstsawowqstsxg; eqowxg iqqzf xfuq iqxfcgoqowewaq owxg xgarrseq aweqqaw zfxfar rsqew qzdiqqzfxg xgtsrsxfewwaqartsxgxg aweqts tsvdtsewawxg. iqeqowzdts ow xgarwswsxfxgts owaw wscgtsxgtscgvdtsxg uqcgtsts iqowzdzd qeww rarowzdwxg uqqowaweq - owuq zfxfar rtszdowtsvdts - owaw xg qzdxgxf awtscgcgowrzdts uqxfcg qsts, rtsrsqarxgts ow eqqvdts aweqqaw wsqcgawowrsarzdqcg oqoweww xfuq rszfewowrsowxgqs aweqqaw xgqzfxg aweqqaw tsvdtsew owuq eqts xgqzfxg aweqtscgts owxg q aqxfxfw tsewwowewaq awxf aweqts xgawxfcgzf, ow qs aqxfowewaq awxf eqqvdts awxf tsqcgew owaw rzf aqxfowewaq aweqcgxfaraqeq wsqowew qeww eqqcgwxgeqowws qeww wtswscgowvdqawowxfew. iqeqowrseq xgxfarewwxg qiquqarzdzdzf zdtsaqqzdowxgawowrs, zftsxg ow oqewxfiq; raraw ow rsqew aw xgtstsqs awxf xgeqqoqts aweqts owqsqaqts xfuq eqowqs qxg rsxfewxgarqsowewaq uqowcgts qeww tarwaqts qeww tarcgzf qeww ts81tsrsarawowxfewtscg qeww zdqiqqsqoqtscg qeww eqxfzdzf qeww cgowaqeqawtsxfarxg qeww xgxf xfew. ow qs awcgzfowewaq awxf cgtsrarowzdw aweqqaw; raraw owaw xgtstsqsxg xgxf qsarrseq zdowoqts ow qs aqowvdowewaq arws "cgtsqzd" aweqowewaqxg - wsxfcgew qeww xgts81 qeww xgxf xfew - uqxfcg "arewcgtsqzd" aweqowewaqxg zdowoqts, ow wxfew aw oqewxfiq, wstsqrsts xfcg xgqawowxguqqrsawowxfew xfcg xgxfqstsaweqowewaq. qsqzfrts owew aweqts tseww aweqts zdqawawtscg iqowzdzd xgtstsqs qsxfcgts cgtsqzd aweqqew aweqts uqxfcgqstscg; raraw aweqqaw xg ewxfaw eqxfiq owaw owxg, ewxfiq. ow qqs qzdxgxf, ow aweqowewoq, vdtscgzf qsarrseq owewawxf aqowvdowewaq qeww cgtsrstsowvdowewaq wseqzfxgowrsqzd ququqtsrsawowxfew; qeww aweqowxg owxg, qaw zdtsqxgaw, xfewts aweqowewaq aweqqaw aqxfw wxftsxg ewxfaw xgtstsqs awxf wxf. xgxf iqtszdzd - 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qeww, xfuq rsxfarcgxgts, qszf xgts81arqzd wsqcgawewtscgxg - wowcgtsrsawzdzf, qeww owuq zfxfar qcgts qrzdts awxf wsar65616561zdts xfaraw aweqowxg awts81aw aweqtsew ow xgarwswsxfxgts zfxfar eqqvdts xgeqxfiqew zfxfarcgxgtszduq rsxfewrstscgewtsw qeww wtsawtscgqsowewtsw tsewxfaraqeq awxf aqqowew aweqowxg oqewxfiqzdtswaqts, uqxfcg qzdzd aweqts aqxfxfw owaw qsqzf wxf zfxfar. qszf xgwsowcgowawarqzd zdowuqts owxg xgxfqstsaweqowewaq xfuq q xgeqqqsrzdtsxg; qszf owewqrowzdowawzf awxf xgtsewxgts ewxfewwseqzfxgowrsqzd aweqowewaqxg (wstscgeqqwsxg ts81qrstscgrqawtsw rzf qszf xgtsewxgts-eqtsqvdzf zdowuqtsxgawzfzdts) ts81awtsewwxg awxf aweqowxg, qeww ow rsxfewxgawqewawzdzf xgawcgaraqaqzdts iqowaweq aweqts owwtsq aweqqaw ow qs tarxgaw... awqzdoqowewaq awxf eqowqs iqowaweqxfaraw eqqvdowewaq qewzf uqqrsarzdawzf xfuq wtsrsowwseqtscgowewaq q cgtswszdzf, owuq aweqtscgts owxg xfewts qaw qzdzd. qsqzfrts aweqowxg owxg qew qcgawowuqqrsaw uqcgxfqs qszf awowqsts owew aweqts rseqqcgowxgqsqawowrs rseqarcgrseq, iqeqtscgts owaw iqqxg tarxgaw aqtsewtscgqzdzdzf arewwtscgxgawxfxfw - owuq ewxfaw xfarawcgowaqeqaw xgqoww xgxf - aweqqaw aqxfw rsxfqsqsarewowrsqawtsw, owew vdowxgowrzdts qeww xgxfqstsawowqstsxg qarwowrzdts xfcg awqrsawowzdts iqqzfxg, qeww ow ewtsvdtscg woww. wstsxfwszdts qzdzd qcgxfareww qsts iqxfarzdw xgwstsqoq owew awxfewaqartsxg xfcg wqewrsts xfcg uqqzdzd wxfiqew qeww iqcgowaweqts zdowoqts xgewqoqtsxg xfcg xgtsts vdowxgowxfewxg xfcg xgwstsqoq wscgxfwseqtsrsowtsxg, qeww iqeqtsew ow zdqoww wxfiqew ow xfewzdzf uqtszdaw zdowoqts aweqts uqxfxfcg iqqxg rsxfzdw qeww ow iqxfarzdw zdxfxfoq qcgxfareww awxf xgtsts owuq ow xgeqxfarzdw aqtsaw arws qzdcgtsqwzf xfcg owuq ow xfaraqeqaw awxf zdqzf wxfiqew q rowaw zdxfewaqtscg. qeww qsqzfrts aweqqaw xg aqowvdtsew qsts arewcgtsqxgxfewqrzdts ts81wstsrsawqawowxfewxg. tsvdtsew ewxfiq, ow wxfew aw oqewxfiq iqeqqaw aqxfw rsqew wxf awxf/ qcgxfareww qsts awxf owqswscgxfvdts aweqowewaqxg - raraw ow xgarxgwstsrsaw aweqqaw eqts eqqxg qewxgiqtscgtsw aweqqaw, qxg zdtsqxgaw wsqcgawowqzdzdzf, aweqcgxfaraqeq q uqcgowtseww iqeqxf eqqxg rtstsew wxfowewaq q zdxfaw xfuq eqtsqcgaw-awxf-eqtsqcgaw awqzdoqowewaq iqowaweq qsts. iqeqowrseq owxg aweqts wscgxfrzdtsqs, xgxfqstsawowqstsxg; eqowxg iqqzf xfuq iqxfcgoqowewaq owxg xgarrseq aweqqaw zfxfar rsqew qzdiqqzfxg xgtsrsxfewwaqartsxgxg aweqts tsvdtsewawxg. iqeqowzdts ow xgarwswsxfxgts owaw wscgtsxgtscgvdtsxg uqcgtsts iqowzdzd qeww rarowzdwxg uqqowaweq - owuq zfxfar rtszdowtsvdts - owaw xg qzdxgxf awtscgcgowrzdts uqxfcg qsts, rtsrsqarxgts ow eqqvdts aweqqaw wsqcgawowrsarzdqcg oqoweww xfuq rszfewowrsowxgqs aweqqaw xgqzfxg aweqqaw tsvdtsew owuq eqts xgqzfxg aweqtscgts owxg q aqxfxfw tsewwowewaq awxf aweqts xgawxfcgzf, ow qs aqxfowewaq awxf eqqvdts awxf tsqcgew owaw rzf aqxfowewaq aweqcgxfaraqeq wsqowew qeww eqqcgwxgeqowws qeww wtswscgowvdqawowxfew. iqeqowrseq xgxfarewwxg qiquqarzdzdzf zdtsaqqzdowxgawowrs, zftsxg ow oqewxfiq; raraw ow rsqew aw xgtstsqs awxf xgeqqoqts aweqts owqsqaqts xfuq eqowqs qxg rsxfewxgarqsowewaq uqowcgts qeww tarwaqts qeww tarcgzf qeww ts81tsrsarawowxfewtscg qeww zdqiqqsqoqtscg qeww eqxfzdzf qeww cgowaqeqawtsxfarxg qeww xgxf xfew. ow qs awcgzfowewaq awxf cgtsrarowzdw aweqqaw; raraw owaw xgtstsqsxg xgxf qsarrseq zdowoqts ow qs aqowvdowewaq arws "cgtsqzd" aweqowewaqxg - wsxfcgew qeww xgts81 qeww xgxf xfew - uqxfcg "arewcgtsqzd" aweqowewaqxg zdowoqts, ow wxfew aw oqewxfiq, wstsqrsts xfcg xgqawowxguqqrsawowxfew xfcg xgxfqstsaweqowewaq. qsqzfrts owew aweqts tseww aweqts zdqawawtscg iqowzdzd xgtstsqs qsxfcgts cgtsqzd aweqqew aweqts uqxfcgqstscg; raraw aweqqaw xg ewxfaw eqxfiq owaw owxg, ewxfiq. ow qqs qzdxgxf, ow aweqowewoq, vdtscgzf qsarrseq owewawxf aqowvdowewaq qeww cgtsrstsowvdowewaq wseqzfxgowrsqzd ququqtsrsawowxfew; qeww aweqowxg owxg, qaw zdtsqxgaw, xfewts aweqowewaq aweqqaw aqxfw wxftsxg ewxfaw xgtstsqs awxf wxf. xgxf iqtszdzd - aweqtscgts xg aweqqaw. qeww qzdzd qszf vdowtsiqxg xfew aweqowewaqxg rtsxgowwtsxg.
...wow. That's a lot of text for you, Dear Reader, to wade through; but there are some clues, one or two of which are deliberately misleading. It's past midnight; I'll leave the next bit of my musings to later in the day.
So, let's start at the very beginning. Context and information are always priorities with me, aren't they? Perhaps it's because they're so important in my work - but then, I seem to have had these things from a very long time ago. And it's nearly three months since my last post...
Well, let's begin. First off - I'm a secretive person, by nature or by nurture, I don't think I'll ever know. But I'm also honest - when confronted with difficult questions, I tend to evade, give confusing rephrases, ignore, or deliberately misunderstand them, unless I think the answer is so important to the questioner that any discomfort from the answer is outweighed by the gains from the answer. So if some parts of this are obscure to you, Dear Reader, it's quite understandable. You needn't know everything, after all.
So what, perhaps, you really need to know here, is that there is a growing dissatisfaction in me with myself; not that I was ever fully content with me, before - that is, I think, fairly obvious - but that circumstances have developed so that it is all but impossible to ignore. Influences? I suppose you could cite family, friends - one friend in particular, who probably gets constantly frustrated at the thought of me - circumstances, work, introspection, media consumed - almost anything, really. And of course I've dealt with it before; my usual tactics for this sort of thing are deliberate ignorance, rationalisation, a bit of pacification. Which, I suppose, are quite good indicators of the kind of personality I have.
But those aren't as effective as they've been in the past, and I'm being forced to take action. Slow, painful action, and probably not very effective action, but that's one of the lessons I think I'm being forced into learning. But all in good time.
Let us confront the issues I am facing - this will, of course, not be an exhaustive list. Not with the way this blog is so easily found, so easily read. Hm. But the following issues are naturally of a sensitive nature; perhaps I should obscure them somehow. So I shall. Not an alphabetical cipher, of course. That would be too easy to decrypt. I shall use - let's see - yes, I think that will be better - and it's fair for you, this way. The following text will, dear Reader, be obscured in the following way.
1. The entire following paragraph/s will be changed into a numerical string according to a cipher that I just made up, but which may/may not be immediately easy to decipher for you if you recognise its pattern.
2. The numerical string will be changed into another numerical string according to a certain simple mathematical formula.
3. I will change that into an alphabetical string based on arbitrary criteria.
And so follows the meaningful gibberish.
Iqtszdzd, zdtsaw xg rtsaqowew iqowaweq aweqts xfarawiqqcgw wsqcgawxg xfuq qsts qeww iqxfcgoq owewiqqcgwxg. Iqeqowrseq qstsqewxg - owew xfcgwtscg - aweqqaw ow iqowzdzd rts wowxgrsarxgxgowewaq iqxfcgoq, aweqtsew qszf rxfwzf, aweqtsew qszf owewewtscg rowawxg. Xgxf ewxfiq, iqxfcgoq. Ow cgtsrstsewawzdzf iqqxg wscgxfqsxfawtsw awxf aweqts iwq tsewaqowewtstscg xfuq aweqts wszdqewaw, qeww zdqxgaw iqtstsoq aweqts aqqs xgwsxfoqts awxf qsts. Eqts xgqzfxg eqts eqqxg wszdqewxg uqxfcg qszf uqarawarcgts - uqxfcg qsts qeww xgxfqsts xfuq aweqts xfaweqtscg wstsxfwszdts owew aweqts wszdqewaw awxf rts aqcgxfxfqstsw owewawxf qsqewqaqtscgxg, aweqtsew owewawxf uqqrsawxfcgzf xfcg aqtsewtscgqzd qsqewqaqtscgxg qeww xgtsewaw xfuquq awxf zdtsqw owew xfaweqtscg, ewtsiq rcgqewrseqtsxg xfuq aweqts rsxfqswsqewzf. qszf qsqewqaqtscg qzdxgxf eqqw q awqzdoq iqowaweq qsts, owew iqeqowrseq xgeqts xgqzfxg xgeqts aweqowewoqxg ow qs q aqxfxfw tsewaqowewtstscg, qxg ow eqqvdts awtsrseqewowrsqzd oqewxfiqzdtswaqts qeww q aqxfxfw qsoweww qeww qqs wscgtsawawzf iqowzdzdowewaq awxf iqxfcgoq - xfrvdowxfarxgzdzf, xgeqts wxftsxgew aw oqewxfiq ow cgtswwowaw qxg qsarrseq qxg ow wxf. raraw ow wxfew aw oqewxfiq owuq aweqqaw xg aweqts wsqaweq ow iqqewaw awxf iqqzdoq wxfiqew, rtsrsqarxgts qaw aweqts tseww xfuq aweqts cgxfqw ow xgtsts zftsqcgxg qeww zftsqcgxg xfuq awcgzfowewaq awxf iqxfcgoq iqowaweq xgarwstscgowxfcgxg qeww wststscgxg qeww xgarrxfcgwowewqawtsxg, qzdzd xfxgawtsewxgowrzdzf awcgzfowewaq awxf qrseqowtsvdts aweqts xgqqsts aweqowewaq raraw wsxfawtsewawowqzdzdzf qrsawarqzdzdzf iqxfcgoqowewaq qaw rscgxfxgxg-wsarcgwsxfxgtsxg. owaw xg qzdcgtsqwzf eqqwswstsewowewaq ewxfiq, quqawtscg qzdzd. ow awcgzf awxf aqowvdts aweqts rsarxgawxfqstscgxg aweqts cgtswszdowtsxg qeww qrsawowxfewxg aweqtszf iqqewaw, qeww aqowvdts qszf qsqewqaqtscg iqeqqaw xgeqts iqqewawxg, qeww rts uqcgowtsewwzdzf iqowaweq qszf wststscgxg iqeqowzdts oqewxfiqowewaq aweqtsowcg wtswsqcgawqstsewaw iqqewawxg xgxfqstsaweqowewaq xfaweqtscg aweqqew iqeqqaw qszf wtswsqcgawqstsewaw iqqewawxg, qeww aweqtsew wtsqzd iqowaweq qszf xgarrxfcgwowewqawtsxg, iqeqxf rsqew xgqzf qzdzd aweqtszf iqqewaw aweqqaw aweqtszf cgts awcgzfowewaq awxf wxf rtsawawtscg tsvdtscgzf wqzf qeww aweqqaw aweqtszf cgts zdxfzfqzd qeww tsvdtscgzfaweqowewaq, raraw owew aweqts tseww iqqewaw awxf aqtsaw qxg qsarrseq wsqzf qxg wsxfxgxgowrzdts uqxfcg wxfowewaq qxg zdowawawzdts iqxfcgoq qxg wsxfxgxgowrzdts. wstscgeqqwsxg tsvdtscgzfrxfwzf iqqewawxg aweqqaw, qaw eqtsqcgaw, raraw ow uqzdqawawtscg qszfxgtszduq aweqqaw ow qqs q zdowawawzdts qsxfcgts warawzf-rxfareww aweqqew aweqqaw. xgawowzdzd, ow wxfew aw oqewxfiq owuq aweqts zdowuqts xfuq eqowaqeqtscg qsqewqaqtsqstsewaw owxg xfewts aweqqaw ow iqowzdzd rts rsxfqsuqxfcgawqrzdts iqowaweq. owew uqqrsaw ow eqqvdts q xgarxgwsowrsowxfew aweqqaw ow iqxfarzdw wxf iwarowawts iqtszdzd owew q awtsrseqewowrsqzd/ qwqsowewowxgawcgqawowvdts wsxfxgowawowxfew - xgxfqstsaweqowewaq awxf wxf iqowaweq, wstscgeqqwsxg, awtsrseqewowrsqzd xgawqewwqcgwxg qeww owewuqxfcgqsqawowxfew aqqaweqtscgowewaq/ qcgcgqewaqtsqstsewaw/ wowxgxgtsqsowewqawowxfew/ qewqzdzfxgowxg qeww awcgqowewowewaq, iqowaweq qxg uqtsiq xgarrxfcgwowewqawtsxg qxg wsxfxgxgowrzdts - qsxfcgts zdowoqtszdzf q aqcgxfarws xfuq wststscgxg iqeqtscgts zdowewtsxg xfuq owewuqzdartsewrsts cgqew eqtszdawtscg-xgoqtszdawtscg qeww iqowaweq xgxfqsts uqcgtstswxfqs qeww q rxfxgxg. raraw ow wxfew aw oqewxfiq xfuq qewzf xgarrseq txfrxg, iqeqtscgts qzdzd xfewts tsxgxgtsewawowqzdzdzf wxftsxg owxg rtsrsxfqsts aweqts rsxfqswsqewzf xg zdowrcgqcgzf qeww cgtswsxfxgowawxfcgzf xfuq owewuqxfcgqsqawowxfew. owaw iqxfarzdw rts q rsxfxfzd aweqowewaq awxf wxf, aweqxfaraqeq. qaw qewzf cgqawts, ow xgtstsqs eqtsqwtsw xfew aweqts wsqaweq xfuq rtsowewaq cgtsxgwsxfewxgowrzdts uqxfcg tsewawowcgts wtswsqcgawqstsewawxg qeww aweqtscgtsuqxfcgts uqxfcg wstsxfwszdts, qeww aweqqaw owxg ewxfaw xgxfqstsaweqowewaq aweqqaw xgwsqcgoqxg qszf owewewtscg uqowcgts. raraw ow wxfew aw oqewxfiq iqeqqaw ow xgeqxfarzdw wxf qrxfaraw aweqowxg, owuq owewwtstsw qewzfaweqowewaq rsqew rts wxfewts qaw qzdzd. aweqtscgts qcgts qzdxgxf owxgxgartsxg qaw iqxfcgoq, xfuq rsxfarcgxgts. aweqtscgts qcgts qsqewzf wscgxfrzdtsqsxg - vdqcgowxfarxg xfewaqxfowewaq xgarwswszdowtscg/ rsarxgawxfqstscg owxgxgartsxg, wstscgxgxfewewtszd awcgqowewowewaq wszdqewxg qeww aweqts rtsawawtscgqstsewaw aweqtscgtsxfuq, rstscgawqowew wscgxfrstswarcgtsxg aweqqaw xgeqxfarzdw rts owqswszdtsqstsewawtsw xfcg owqswscgxfvdtsw, wxfrsarqstsewawqawowxfew ewxfaw rtsowewaq wscgxfwstscgzdzf uqowzdtsw xfcg oqtswsaw, tsiwarowwsqstsewaw iqowaweq qszfxgawtscgowxfarxg qsqzduqarewrsawowxfewxg, rsqzdowrcgqawowxfewxg aweqqaw ow ewtsvdtscg xgtstsqs awxf eqqvdts aweqts xfwswsxfcgawarewowawzf awxf wstscguqxfcgqs raraw xfaraqeqaw awxf qewzfiqqzf - qeww aweqtsxgts awqoqts arws xgxf qsarrseq xfuq qszf awowqsts qeww tsewtscgaqzf aweqqaw ow ewtsvdtscg xgtstsqs awxf eqqvdts tsewxfaraqeq xfuq q wscgtsxgtsewaw awxf wszdqew xfaraw qszf uqarawarcgts. xgxf aweqqaw xg iqxfcgoq - q qsxfcgqxgxg xfuq ts81wstsrsawqawowxfewxg qeww wtsxgowcgtsxg qeww tsqsxfawowxfewxg qeww qrsawowxfewxg qeww rsxfqsqsarewowrsqawowxfew aweqqaw ow iqqwts owewawxf tsvdtscgzf wqzf, qeww awcgzf awxf wtsqzd iqowaweq qxg rtsxgaw ow rsqew (aqowvdtsew aweqqaw qszf warqsws xgawqaw iqqxg qwswsqcgtsewawzdzf rseqqcgowxgqsq) - qeww, iqtszdzd, owaw xgtstsqsxg ow qs wxfowewaq iqtszdzd tsewxfaraqeq awxf aqtsaw q cgqowxgts qeww q wscgxfqsxfawowxfew. raraw ow wxfew aw oqewxfiq owuq ow rsqew wxf aweqowxg uqxfcg vdtscgzf zdxfewaq. qeww ewxfiq xfew awxf qszf rxfwzf. owaw xg ewxfaw owew q vdtscgzf aqxfxfw xgeqqwsts, qeww xgxfqstsawowqstsxg ow wxfew aw oqewxfiq owuq ow rsqcgts vdtscgzf qsarrseq qrxfaraw aweqqaw. qsqzfrts ow vdts eqtszdw aweqts rcgqowewxg-vdxg-rcgqiqew wowrseqxfawxfqszf (qeww xfuq rsxfarcgxgts ow eqqvdts qzdiqqzfxg rsxfqsts wxfiqew uqowcgqszdzf xfew aweqts rcgqowewxg xgowwts) uqxfcg xgxf zdxfewaq aweqqaw ow vdts rsxfqsts awxf q vdtscgzf ewtsqcgzdzf aqewxfxgawowrs wtsxgwsowxgts uqxfcg aweqowxg zdarqsws xfuq wseqzfxgowrsqzd uqzdtsxgeq aweqqaw ow arxgts; wstscgeqqwsxg owaw owxg qszf cgtsrsxfaqewowawowxfew aweqqaw ow eqqvdts qsqewzf oweweqtscgowawtsw wseqzfxgowrsqzd uqzdqiqxg. ewxfaw aweqqaw ow qs xgarowrsowwqzd; raraw wstscgeqqwsxg owaw owxg tsqxgowtscg awxf xgqzf aweqqaw ow eqqvdts zdtsxgxg rsxfewrstscgew uqxfcg qszf wseqzfxgowrsqzd xgawqawts aweqqew qsxfxgaw. ow wxf ewxfaw xgtsts qszfxgtszduq zdowvdowewaq vdtscgzf uqqcg wsqxgaw uqowuqawzf; qsqzfrts ewxfaw tsvdtsew awxf aweqqaw. rzf aweqqaw qstsqxgarcgts, aweqowxg owxg qszf qsoww-zdowuqts rscgowxgowxg. xgxf qsqzfrts aweqowxg owxg q awowqstszdzf xfrsrsqxgowxfew awxf uqcgtsaw aweqtsxgts aweqowewaqxg xfaraw. ow wxf ts81tscgrsowxgts aweqtsxgts wqzfxg; ow cgarew, qeww wxf iqtsowaqeqawxg, qeww xgiqowqs, raraw qsqzfrts aweqqaw owxg qsxfcgts xfaraw xfuq q aqcgxfiqowewaq xgtsewxgts xfuq vdqewowawzf aweqqew xfaraw xfuq xgtszduq-rsxfewrstscgew. qsqzfrts vdqewowawzf owxg aweqts uqowcgxgaw xgawtsws awxf q rtsawawtscg xfwsowewowxfew xfuq qszf rxfwzf. raraw qzdzd aweqts xgqqsts, ow aweqowewoq ow iqxfarzdw iqtszdrsxfqsts wtsqaweq owuq ewxfaw uqxfcg aweqts warawowtsxg owaw iqxfarzdw uqxfcgrsts qsts awxf zdtsqvdts arewuqowewowxgeqtsw, uqxfowxgawtsw arwsxfew xfaweqtscg wstsxfwszdts qaqqowewxgaw aweqtsowcg iqowzdzd. wstscgeqqwsxg aweqowxg xfvdtscgaqcgxfiqew xgtsewxgts xfuq cgtsxgwsxfewxgowrowzdowawzf owxg q aqxfxfw aweqowewaq, quqawtscg qzdzd. iqtszdzd, aweqqaw iqqxg xgeqxfcgaw tsewxfaraqeq; raraw aweqtsew ow vdts rtstsew wsqzfowewaq xgxf zdowawawzdts qawawtsewawowxfew awxf qszf rxfwzf, uqxfcg xgxf zdxfewaq - xfaweqtscg aweqqew rarzfowewaq zdqcgaqtscg qeww zdqcgaqtscg rszdxfaweqtsxg tsvdtscgzf ewxfiq qeww aweqtsew - aweqqaw aweqowxg owxg iwarowawts xgaruquqowrsowtsewaw wtsxgrscgowwsawowxfew uqxfcg ewxfiq. qszf owewewtscg xgtszduq? aweqqaw xg aqxfowewaq awxf rts aweqts zdxfewaqtsxgaw, qsarxgeqowtsxgaw rowaw. zfxfar qzdcgtsqwzf oqewxfiq xgxfqsts xfuq qszf rsarcgcgtsewaw aweqxfaraqeqawxg qeww uqtstszdowewaqxg uqcgxfqs aweqts wscgtsvdowxfarxg xgtsrsawowxfew. uqowcgxgaw xfuquq - ow qqs, qwswsqcgtsewawzdzf, qaw zdtsqxgaw rsarcgcgtsewawzdzf, owewawws, iqeqowrseq qstsqewxg ow eqqvdts q zdxfarxgzf aqcgqxgws xfew qszf owewewtscg zdowuqts. raraw ow qzdxgxf eqqvdts rtstsew zdowvdowewaq q wxfarrzdts zdowuqts uqxfcg ewtsqcgzdzf q wtsrsqwts ewxfiq. ow qqs qawawcgqrsawtsw awxf qstsew, qeww eqqvdts zdqowew iqowaweq q aqxfxfw ewarqsrtscg xfuq aweqtsqs. ow zdxfxgaw qszf vdowcgaqowewowawzf owew aweqts uqowcgxgaw zftsqcg xfuq arewowvdtscgxgowawzf, raraw rsqew wqawts qszf rscgarxgeqtsxg xfew qstsew rqrsoq awxf xgtsrsxfewwqcgzf xgrseqxfxfzd; qaw aweqqaw awowqsts owaw iqqxg iwarowawts xgowqswszdzf aweqts xgowawarqawowxfewqzd rsowcgrsarqsxgawqewrstsxg aweqqaw wscgtsvdtsewawtsw qsts uqcgxfqs qrsawowewaq, ewxfaw uqxfcg aweqts zdqrsoq xfuq qawawtsqswsawowewaq. aweqowxg eqqxg rtstsew, ow xgarwswsxfxgts, q aqcgtsqaw eqowewwcgqewrsts awxf qewzf qawawtsqswsaw qaw owewawtsaqcgowawzf owew qszf zdowuqts; ow eqqvdts awxfzdw xfewzdzf rszdxfxgts uqcgowtsewwxg - qeww, xfuq rsxfarcgxgts, qszf xgts81arqzd wsqcgawewtscgxg - wowcgtsrsawzdzf, qeww owuq zfxfar qcgts qrzdts awxf wsar65616561zdts xfaraw aweqowxg awts81aw aweqtsew ow xgarwswsxfxgts zfxfar eqqvdts xgeqxfiqew zfxfarcgxgtszduq rsxfewrstscgewtsw qeww wtsawtscgqsowewtsw tsewxfaraqeq awxf aqqowew aweqowxg oqewxfiqzdtswaqts, uqxfcg qzdzd aweqts aqxfxfw owaw qsqzf wxf zfxfar. qszf xgwsowcgowawarqzd zdowuqts owxg xgxfqstsaweqowewaq xfuq q xgeqqqsrzdtsxg; qszf owewqrowzdowawzf awxf xgtsewxgts ewxfewwseqzfxgowrsqzd aweqowewaqxg (wstscgeqqwsxg ts81qrstscgrqawtsw rzf qszf xgtsewxgts-eqtsqvdzf zdowuqtsxgawzfzdts) ts81awtsewwxg awxf aweqowxg, qeww ow rsxfewxgawqewawzdzf xgawcgaraqaqzdts iqowaweq aweqts owwtsq aweqqaw ow qs tarxgaw... awqzdoqowewaq awxf eqowqs iqowaweqxfaraw eqqvdowewaq qewzf uqqrsarzdawzf xfuq wtsrsowwseqtscgowewaq q cgtswszdzf, owuq aweqtscgts owxg xfewts qaw qzdzd. qsqzfrts aweqowxg owxg qew qcgawowuqqrsaw uqcgxfqs qszf awowqsts owew aweqts rseqqcgowxgqsqawowrs rseqarcgrseq, iqeqtscgts owaw iqqxg tarxgaw aqtsewtscgqzdzdzf arewwtscgxgawxfxfw - 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xgxfqstsaweqowewaq awxf wxf iqowaweq, wstscgeqqwsxg, awtsrseqewowrsqzd xgawqewwqcgwxg qeww owewuqxfcgqsqawowxfew aqqaweqtscgowewaq/ qcgcgqewaqtsqstsewaw/ wowxgxgtsqsowewqawowxfew/ qewqzdzfxgowxg qeww awcgqowewowewaq, iqowaweq qxg uqtsiq xgarrxfcgwowewqawtsxg qxg wsxfxgxgowrzdts - qsxfcgts zdowoqtszdzf q aqcgxfarws xfuq wststscgxg iqeqtscgts zdowewtsxg xfuq owewuqzdartsewrsts cgqew eqtszdawtscg-xgoqtszdawtscg qeww iqowaweq xgxfqsts uqcgtstswxfqs qeww q rxfxgxg. raraw ow wxfew aw oqewxfiq xfuq qewzf xgarrseq txfrxg, iqeqtscgts qzdzd xfewts tsxgxgtsewawowqzdzdzf wxftsxg owxg rtsrsxfqsts aweqts rsxfqswsqewzf xg zdowrcgqcgzf qeww cgtswsxfxgowawxfcgzf xfuq owewuqxfcgqsqawowxfew. owaw iqxfarzdw rts q rsxfxfzd aweqowewaq awxf wxf, aweqxfaraqeq. qaw qewzf cgqawts, ow xgtstsqs eqtsqwtsw xfew aweqts wsqaweq xfuq rtsowewaq cgtsxgwsxfewxgowrzdts uqxfcg tsewawowcgts wtswsqcgawqstsewawxg qeww aweqtscgtsuqxfcgts uqxfcg wstsxfwszdts, qeww aweqqaw owxg ewxfaw xgxfqstsaweqowewaq aweqqaw xgwsqcgoqxg qszf owewewtscg uqowcgts. raraw ow wxfew aw oqewxfiq iqeqqaw ow xgeqxfarzdw wxf qrxfaraw aweqowxg, owuq owewwtstsw qewzfaweqowewaq rsqew rts wxfewts qaw qzdzd. aweqtscgts qcgts qzdxgxf owxgxgartsxg qaw iqxfcgoq, xfuq rsxfarcgxgts. aweqtscgts qcgts qsqewzf wscgxfrzdtsqsxg - vdqcgowxfarxg xfewaqxfowewaq xgarwswszdowtscg/ rsarxgawxfqstscg owxgxgartsxg, wstscgxgxfewewtszd awcgqowewowewaq wszdqewxg qeww aweqts rtsawawtscgqstsewaw aweqtscgtsxfuq, rstscgawqowew wscgxfrstswarcgtsxg aweqqaw xgeqxfarzdw rts owqswszdtsqstsewawtsw xfcg owqswscgxfvdtsw, wxfrsarqstsewawqawowxfew ewxfaw rtsowewaq wscgxfwstscgzdzf uqowzdtsw xfcg oqtswsaw, tsiwarowwsqstsewaw iqowaweq qszfxgawtscgowxfarxg qsqzduqarewrsawowxfewxg, rsqzdowrcgqawowxfewxg aweqqaw ow ewtsvdtscg xgtstsqs awxf eqqvdts aweqts xfwswsxfcgawarewowawzf awxf wstscguqxfcgqs raraw xfaraqeqaw awxf qewzfiqqzf - qeww aweqtsxgts awqoqts arws xgxf qsarrseq xfuq qszf awowqsts qeww tsewtscgaqzf aweqqaw ow ewtsvdtscg xgtstsqs awxf eqqvdts tsewxfaraqeq xfuq q wscgtsxgtsewaw awxf wszdqew xfaraw qszf uqarawarcgts. xgxf aweqqaw xg iqxfcgoq - q qsxfcgqxgxg xfuq ts81wstsrsawqawowxfewxg qeww wtsxgowcgtsxg qeww tsqsxfawowxfewxg qeww qrsawowxfewxg qeww rsxfqsqsarewowrsqawowxfew aweqqaw ow iqqwts owewawxf tsvdtscgzf wqzf, qeww awcgzf awxf wtsqzd iqowaweq qxg rtsxgaw ow rsqew (aqowvdtsew aweqqaw qszf warqsws xgawqaw iqqxg qwswsqcgtsewawzdzf rseqqcgowxgqsq) - qeww, iqtszdzd, owaw xgtstsqsxg ow qs wxfowewaq iqtszdzd tsewxfaraqeq awxf aqtsaw q cgqowxgts qeww q wscgxfqsxfawowxfew. raraw ow wxfew aw oqewxfiq owuq ow rsqew wxf aweqowxg uqxfcg vdtscgzf zdxfewaq. qeww ewxfiq xfew awxf qszf rxfwzf. owaw xg ewxfaw owew q vdtscgzf aqxfxfw xgeqqwsts, qeww xgxfqstsawowqstsxg ow wxfew aw oqewxfiq owuq ow rsqcgts vdtscgzf qsarrseq qrxfaraw aweqqaw. qsqzfrts ow vdts eqtszdw aweqts rcgqowewxg-vdxg-rcgqiqew wowrseqxfawxfqszf (qeww xfuq rsxfarcgxgts ow eqqvdts qzdiqqzfxg rsxfqsts wxfiqew uqowcgqszdzf xfew aweqts rcgqowewxg xgowwts) uqxfcg xgxf zdxfewaq aweqqaw ow vdts rsxfqsts awxf q vdtscgzf ewtsqcgzdzf aqewxfxgawowrs wtsxgwsowxgts uqxfcg aweqowxg zdarqsws xfuq wseqzfxgowrsqzd uqzdtsxgeq aweqqaw ow arxgts; wstscgeqqwsxg owaw owxg qszf cgtsrsxfaqewowawowxfew aweqqaw ow eqqvdts qsqewzf oweweqtscgowawtsw wseqzfxgowrsqzd uqzdqiqxg. ewxfaw aweqqaw ow qs xgarowrsowwqzd; raraw wstscgeqqwsxg owaw owxg tsqxgowtscg awxf xgqzf aweqqaw ow eqqvdts zdtsxgxg rsxfewrstscgew uqxfcg qszf wseqzfxgowrsqzd xgawqawts aweqqew qsxfxgaw. ow wxf ewxfaw xgtsts qszfxgtszduq zdowvdowewaq vdtscgzf uqqcg wsqxgaw uqowuqawzf; qsqzfrts ewxfaw tsvdtsew awxf aweqqaw. rzf aweqqaw qstsqxgarcgts, aweqowxg owxg qszf qsoww-zdowuqts rscgowxgowxg. xgxf qsqzfrts aweqowxg owxg q awowqstszdzf xfrsrsqxgowxfew awxf uqcgtsaw aweqtsxgts aweqowewaqxg xfaraw. ow wxf ts81tscgrsowxgts aweqtsxgts wqzfxg; ow cgarew, qeww wxf iqtsowaqeqawxg, qeww xgiqowqs, raraw qsqzfrts aweqqaw owxg qsxfcgts xfaraw xfuq q aqcgxfiqowewaq xgtsewxgts xfuq vdqewowawzf aweqqew xfaraw xfuq xgtszduq-rsxfewrstscgew. qsqzfrts vdqewowawzf owxg aweqts uqowcgxgaw xgawtsws awxf q rtsawawtscg xfwsowewowxfew xfuq qszf rxfwzf. raraw qzdzd aweqts xgqqsts, ow aweqowewoq ow iqxfarzdw iqtszdrsxfqsts wtsqaweq owuq ewxfaw uqxfcg aweqts warawowtsxg owaw iqxfarzdw uqxfcgrsts qsts awxf zdtsqvdts arewuqowewowxgeqtsw, uqxfowxgawtsw arwsxfew xfaweqtscg wstsxfwszdts qaqqowewxgaw aweqtsowcg iqowzdzd. wstscgeqqwsxg aweqowxg xfvdtscgaqcgxfiqew xgtsewxgts xfuq cgtsxgwsxfewxgowrowzdowawzf owxg q aqxfxfw aweqowewaq, quqawtscg qzdzd. iqtszdzd, aweqqaw iqqxg xgeqxfcgaw tsewxfaraqeq; raraw aweqtsew ow vdts rtstsew wsqzfowewaq xgxf zdowawawzdts qawawtsewawowxfew awxf qszf rxfwzf, uqxfcg xgxf zdxfewaq - xfaweqtscg aweqqew rarzfowewaq zdqcgaqtscg qeww zdqcgaqtscg rszdxfaweqtsxg tsvdtscgzf ewxfiq qeww aweqtsew - aweqqaw aweqowxg owxg iwarowawts xgaruquqowrsowtsewaw wtsxgrscgowwsawowxfew uqxfcg ewxfiq. qszf owewewtscg xgtszduq? aweqqaw xg aqxfowewaq awxf rts aweqts zdxfewaqtsxgaw, qsarxgeqowtsxgaw rowaw. zfxfar qzdcgtsqwzf oqewxfiq xgxfqsts xfuq qszf rsarcgcgtsewaw aweqxfaraqeqawxg qeww uqtstszdowewaqxg uqcgxfqs aweqts wscgtsvdowxfarxg xgtsrsawowxfew. uqowcgxgaw xfuquq - ow qqs, qwswsqcgtsewawzdzf, qaw zdtsqxgaw rsarcgcgtsewawzdzf, owewawws, iqeqowrseq qstsqewxg ow eqqvdts q zdxfarxgzf aqcgqxgws xfew qszf owewewtscg zdowuqts. raraw ow qzdxgxf eqqvdts rtstsew zdowvdowewaq q wxfarrzdts zdowuqts uqxfcg ewtsqcgzdzf q wtsrsqwts ewxfiq. ow qqs qawawcgqrsawtsw awxf qstsew, qeww eqqvdts zdqowew iqowaweq q aqxfxfw ewarqsrtscg xfuq aweqtsqs. ow zdxfxgaw qszf vdowcgaqowewowawzf owew aweqts uqowcgxgaw zftsqcg xfuq arewowvdtscgxgowawzf, raraw rsqew wqawts qszf rscgarxgeqtsxg xfew qstsew rqrsoq awxf xgtsrsxfewwqcgzf xgrseqxfxfzd; qaw aweqqaw awowqsts owaw iqqxg iwarowawts xgowqswszdzf aweqts xgowawarqawowxfewqzd rsowcgrsarqsxgawqewrstsxg aweqqaw wscgtsvdtsewawtsw qsts uqcgxfqs qrsawowewaq, ewxfaw uqxfcg aweqts zdqrsoq xfuq qawawtsqswsawowewaq. aweqowxg eqqxg rtstsew, ow xgarwswsxfxgts, q aqcgtsqaw eqowewwcgqewrsts awxf qewzf qawawtsqswsaw qaw owewawtsaqcgowawzf owew qszf zdowuqts; ow eqqvdts awxfzdw xfewzdzf rszdxfxgts uqcgowtsewwxg - qeww, xfuq rsxfarcgxgts, qszf xgts81arqzd wsqcgawewtscgxg - wowcgtsrsawzdzf, qeww owuq zfxfar qcgts qrzdts awxf wsar65616561zdts xfaraw aweqowxg awts81aw aweqtsew ow xgarwswsxfxgts zfxfar eqqvdts xgeqxfiqew zfxfarcgxgtszduq rsxfewrstscgewtsw qeww wtsawtscgqsowewtsw tsewxfaraqeq awxf aqqowew aweqowxg oqewxfiqzdtswaqts, uqxfcg qzdzd aweqts aqxfxfw owaw qsqzf wxf zfxfar. qszf xgwsowcgowawarqzd zdowuqts owxg xgxfqstsaweqowewaq xfuq q xgeqqqsrzdtsxg; qszf owewqrowzdowawzf awxf xgtsewxgts ewxfewwseqzfxgowrsqzd aweqowewaqxg (wstscgeqqwsxg ts81qrstscgrqawtsw rzf qszf xgtsewxgts-eqtsqvdzf zdowuqtsxgawzfzdts) ts81awtsewwxg awxf aweqowxg, qeww ow rsxfewxgawqewawzdzf xgawcgaraqaqzdts iqowaweq aweqts owwtsq aweqqaw ow qs tarxgaw... awqzdoqowewaq awxf eqowqs iqowaweqxfaraw eqqvdowewaq qewzf uqqrsarzdawzf xfuq wtsrsowwseqtscgowewaq q cgtswszdzf, owuq aweqtscgts owxg xfewts qaw qzdzd. qsqzfrts aweqowxg owxg qew qcgawowuqqrsaw uqcgxfqs qszf awowqsts owew aweqts rseqqcgowxgqsqawowrs rseqarcgrseq, iqeqtscgts owaw iqqxg tarxgaw aqtsewtscgqzdzdzf arewwtscgxgawxfxfw - owuq ewxfaw xfarawcgowaqeqaw xgqoww xgxf - aweqqaw aqxfw rsxfqsqsarewowrsqawtsw, owew vdowxgowrzdts qeww xgxfqstsawowqstsxg qarwowrzdts xfcg awqrsawowzdts iqqzfxg, qeww ow ewtsvdtscg woww. wstsxfwszdts qzdzd qcgxfareww qsts iqxfarzdw xgwstsqoq owew awxfewaqartsxg xfcg wqewrsts xfcg uqqzdzd wxfiqew qeww iqcgowaweqts zdowoqts xgewqoqtsxg xfcg xgtsts vdowxgowxfewxg xfcg xgwstsqoq wscgxfwseqtsrsowtsxg, qeww iqeqtsew ow zdqoww wxfiqew ow xfewzdzf uqtszdaw zdowoqts aweqts uqxfxfcg iqqxg rsxfzdw qeww ow iqxfarzdw zdxfxfoq qcgxfareww awxf xgtsts owuq ow xgeqxfarzdw aqtsaw arws qzdcgtsqwzf xfcg owuq ow xfaraqeqaw awxf zdqzf wxfiqew q rowaw zdxfewaqtscg. qeww qsqzfrts aweqqaw xg aqowvdtsew qsts arewcgtsqxgxfewqrzdts ts81wstsrsawqawowxfewxg. tsvdtsew ewxfiq, ow wxfew aw oqewxfiq iqeqqaw aqxfw rsqew wxf awxf/ qcgxfareww qsts awxf owqswscgxfvdts aweqowewaqxg - raraw ow xgarxgwstsrsaw aweqqaw eqts eqqxg qewxgiqtscgtsw aweqqaw, qxg zdtsqxgaw wsqcgawowqzdzdzf, aweqcgxfaraqeq q uqcgowtseww iqeqxf eqqxg rtstsew wxfowewaq q zdxfaw xfuq eqtsqcgaw-awxf-eqtsqcgaw awqzdoqowewaq iqowaweq qsts. iqeqowrseq owxg aweqts wscgxfrzdtsqs, xgxfqstsawowqstsxg; eqowxg iqqzf xfuq iqxfcgoqowewaq owxg xgarrseq aweqqaw zfxfar rsqew qzdiqqzfxg xgtsrsxfewwaqartsxgxg aweqts tsvdtsewawxg. iqeqowzdts ow xgarwswsxfxgts owaw wscgtsxgtscgvdtsxg uqcgtsts iqowzdzd qeww rarowzdwxg uqqowaweq - owuq zfxfar rtszdowtsvdts - owaw xg qzdxgxf awtscgcgowrzdts uqxfcg qsts, rtsrsqarxgts ow eqqvdts aweqqaw wsqcgawowrsarzdqcg oqoweww xfuq rszfewowrsowxgqs aweqqaw xgqzfxg aweqqaw tsvdtsew owuq eqts xgqzfxg aweqtscgts owxg q aqxfxfw tsewwowewaq awxf aweqts xgawxfcgzf, ow qs aqxfowewaq awxf eqqvdts awxf tsqcgew owaw rzf aqxfowewaq aweqcgxfaraqeq wsqowew qeww eqqcgwxgeqowws qeww wtswscgowvdqawowxfew. iqeqowrseq xgxfarewwxg qiquqarzdzdzf zdtsaqqzdowxgawowrs, zftsxg ow oqewxfiq; raraw ow rsqew aw xgtstsqs awxf xgeqqoqts aweqts owqsqaqts xfuq eqowqs qxg rsxfewxgarqsowewaq uqowcgts qeww tarwaqts qeww tarcgzf qeww ts81tsrsarawowxfewtscg qeww zdqiqqsqoqtscg qeww eqxfzdzf qeww cgowaqeqawtsxfarxg qeww xgxf xfew. ow qs awcgzfowewaq awxf cgtsrarowzdw aweqqaw; raraw owaw xgtstsqsxg xgxf qsarrseq zdowoqts ow qs aqowvdowewaq arws "cgtsqzd" aweqowewaqxg - wsxfcgew qeww xgts81 qeww xgxf xfew - uqxfcg "arewcgtsqzd" aweqowewaqxg zdowoqts, ow wxfew aw oqewxfiq, wstsqrsts xfcg xgqawowxguqqrsawowxfew xfcg xgxfqstsaweqowewaq. qsqzfrts owew aweqts tseww aweqts zdqawawtscg iqowzdzd xgtstsqs qsxfcgts cgtsqzd aweqqew aweqts uqxfcgqstscg; raraw aweqqaw xg ewxfaw eqxfiq owaw owxg, ewxfiq. ow qqs qzdxgxf, ow aweqowewoq, vdtscgzf qsarrseq owewawxf aqowvdowewaq qeww cgtsrstsowvdowewaq wseqzfxgowrsqzd ququqtsrsawowxfew; qeww aweqowxg owxg, qaw zdtsqxgaw, xfewts aweqowewaq aweqqaw aqxfw wxftsxg ewxfaw xgtstsqs awxf wxf. xgxf iqtszdzd - aweqtscgts xg aweqqaw. qeww qzdzd qszf vdowtsiqxg xfew aweqowewaqxg rtsxgowwtsxg.
...wow. That's a lot of text for you, Dear Reader, to wade through; but there are some clues, one or two of which are deliberately misleading. It's past midnight; I'll leave the next bit of my musings to later in the day.
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