Panthera Sapiens: A Pie ('Nuff Said about that)

It's... about three years and a half now since I started work, give or take a week or two, and definitely coming on three years since I was transferred into the QA department, so I think it's a bit of a good time to start, hm, taking stock of everything that's changed or not changed, that I can observe.

A small thought occurs to me that I ought to encrypt this, so I will. But I'm too lazy to do the complicated key thing that I did before; I'll just use an online encrypter when I'm done with this, and if whoever's reading this is both curious enough to attempt decryption AND clever or fortunate enough to find the key, well, that's reward for motivation and intelligence, isn't it?

What has happened in the company over the last three and a half years that I can remember, in non-chronological and non-alphabetic order:

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  58. KH0xJnS+OPKI1Ww==IwEmS

  60. Decrypt it at https://encipher.it
...upon reflection, it actually seems that most of the major changes can be traced back to the GM. Which just shows the influence one person can have on a whole bunch of others. And now for self-evaluation...
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  67. Decrypt it at https://encipher.it
Why all this, though? I don't know. It might have to do that I'm being told to look for another job elsewhere, and I just don't feel... qualified or competent, yet, you know? There's this niggling little sense that I should have completed some goal or other before moving on - like this is a class and I haven't completed the syllabus, so I shouldn't try to go to the next class. And writing it out like that shows how... strange a thought that is, I suppose. After all there are many other reasons to change jobs, such as to get better pay or better working conditions or easier work, and people do that all the time.

But at the same time, I don't know that I'll be able to sell myself in an interview if I'm not properly confident in myself first; and for that, well - I don't know. I don't know if I'll ever get to a point where I can say, "Hey, I think I've learned everything I can here, and I'm as close to perfection as this place will ever get me. Gotta jet!" - if for nothing other than that as I approach improvement, I'll have to remain able to keep track of all the other basic routines and things, and will get new duties anyway.

There's a fable about how some dirty little girl sparked improvement in a whole neighbourhood - she started off staring at some picture of a pretty girl, and then started brushing her hair and mending her dresses, which prompted her father to fix the house, which prompted the neighbour to paint their house, which prompted etc etc until the whole place was sparkling utopia. I used to think that way, too, but now - now that little girl has to mend all her dresses and brush her hair forever, as well as live up to whatever new things she has to do to keep the place clean - sweep and mop and do the dishes and ace her homework and whatever else - and so do all the neighbours, and all it'll take is one simple uncontrollable thing, like a passing vandal or a local business going bust, to throw them right back into the previous mess, won't it?

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