Of Dirt and Tenants

It appears that certain people have a problem with cleanliness—tenants. I’ve a house that has been rented out to various people for the last three years, and I’ve decided that upon renting houses, most people lose all sense of hygiene and begin breeding a plethora of pests. Cockroaches are a prime incidence: I just went to clean out the house after the last tenant ran out on us without even saying goodbye (it appears that tenants also have no manners), and the kitchen was a veritable zoo of mould, algae and roaches in small, medium or large sizes. It reminds me of a line I read somewhere: “The house had hot and cold running roaches”! Oh, and the tenants even had the gall to leave their bills behind for us to pay. I must say that I hope that (with apologies to all anti-racist groups out there) that the Muslims who thus treated my house will get a taste of their own medicine soon. Or on second thought, make that a double dose. You can’t be too cruel to people who use your bedroom walls as easels to crayon their grammar homework on. And the posters they left behind! Mediocre second-rate Malay comic-book heroes, movie posters (Daredevil, for goodness’ sake) and vandalised exercise-book pages, double-taped on to every last square inch of blank wall…these people must’ve been crazy or really rich. (I opt for the first, since they obviously couldn’t afford a house of their own to destroy.) And as if that weren’t enough, (yes, that’s perfect grammar. Copy it into MS Word and see) they had to go and completely waste the toilets! The bowls probably haven’t been cleaned for aeons—they have mud-brown rings at the water level, and I don’t think it’s the brown-ring salt test experiment either. Also, the toilet seats are gone (don’t ask me what they wanted them for) and the heaters are destroyed! And as the last straw, they left behind a German romance novel. (I have no idea how Malays would know German.) I threw it away, so if Herr Robson’s reading this, too bad. I’m not giving it to him! In any case, the house has been cleaned and the Muslim odour (and ordure) cleared away along with the roach community, so if anyone who knows housecleaning wants a house to rent, contact me and prepare to give me a tonne of cash. I deserve it—look what I’ve had to put up with!
It’s been wonderfully rainy lately. My house is located at the end of a street, and just now when the rain came, I could see it as it came! Meaning: that I could see the rain as it advanced up the street…kind of like in the Day After Tomorrow, when the big wave comes. Just replace the wall of seawater with a wall of rain, and you get the general idea.
Some results have come back, some not. It’s amazing, I must say, that once again I beat the charitable classmate at Additional Math! Simply wonderful it is to me.
This post won’t be too long since I’m kind of pressed for time here, but I’ll make it up in the future. I promise.