Mostly About Nothing
There's no real reason to put up a title on the posts I write now, since my template makes sure that the title never appears until it goes into the archives. Another reason to dislike HTML. Fine, hate. I hate HTML. Are you happy now?
I know, I know, I sound rotten. I've probably been ranting or making other people rant for quite awhile by now. And it's not like I've got any excuses: everything's been all fine and dandy for, I don't know, ever since I got back, I suppose. The weather's perfectly rainy, my room-mate's a really OK guy, my sister is here, I have access to the Net. So what's with my grumpiness?
Gene would love to know, I'm sure. I've been noticing him trying to avoid me for the past two weeks. (Before then, we were on holiday so... yeah. Never mind.) Maybe it's a side-effect of me shutting down my own feelings--I find myself increasingly insensitive to those of others. It's practically a skill of mine by now, to start off a conversation on the wrong foot--and then, through my amazing power of tact, to rip open wounds old and new and leave my counterpart (metaphorically!) bleeding away.
It's odd, but I find myself quite emotionless these days. It's as if I just turned off a tap--apart from the occasional drip of annoyance or worry, I feel nothing about anything. I'm not even sure these days what I feel. Like now, for example, I'm not sure whether I should be happy about this (I have, after all, extolled the vices of emotion on multiple occasions) or worried (most books I read place great importance on having a balanced emotional life--or on having an emotional life at all for that matter).
Maybe I'm just being apathetic, or maybe it's just that AS and stuff is getting to me. The applications are out, and I've sent them to the relevant teachers to approve--I need recommendations from every teacher to sit for the exams. Unfortunately, I failed one Physics paper last year, and so I didn't get the recommendation from Mr. Who. Now I'm going to have to write a letter begging to sit for it and promising to study hard, devote my life to revision, write a will leaving everything I have to the Physics department, etc. etc, and hope that it'll get through and I'll be able to sit for the exam.
And what's more, the payment for this semester is due next week, and my schedule has ruled out the possibility of me going to the bank to pay it on any day except Saturday. And on Saturday, guess what? The banks only work until 12.30. And that's assuming they're open at all--I'm completely ignorant of banking holidays. For all I know they could have a rule about not opening on the Saturdays of every month ending in Y.
I might as well describe my room-mate here. The old one had his STPM last November and has vanished--probably got sick of the room. I know I would--so they stuck a freshman with me this year. He's my sister's coursemate, and seems to be a real geekling, the type who wouldn't be caught dead without a thick novel in hand. In other words, very much like yours truly. Our main differences are that his hair isn't green, he brought a radio, and he's much neater than I am. (He's even put up a chores table detailing who sweeps and mops the floor on any given day.)
And did I mention his hands are possibly glued to his reference books? Almost every moment I see him in the room, there's a thick book in hand, usually Biology or Chemistry. I ought to admire his diligence, but I just get guilt.
He also seems to be (temporarily, I hope) modelling his schedule after mine. No, I don't mean daily four hours online. I do mean sleeping when I sleep, going to the bathroom when I go, and waking when I wake (although given that the bed squeaks and my alarm is very loud, it's no wonder). He'll get some serious health problems if he's not careful. I'm immune to myself.
By the way, I slept past 12 last night and woke at 6.30 this morning; so I was rather drowsy all today. I should take a nap, but the Net is so alluring! I have an excuse: a guy from church just turned 21 and lst night was his party.
So that's it. A short summary of everything I think important enough to record for the past two weeks.
I know, I know, I sound rotten. I've probably been ranting or making other people rant for quite awhile by now. And it's not like I've got any excuses: everything's been all fine and dandy for, I don't know, ever since I got back, I suppose. The weather's perfectly rainy, my room-mate's a really OK guy, my sister is here, I have access to the Net. So what's with my grumpiness?
Gene would love to know, I'm sure. I've been noticing him trying to avoid me for the past two weeks. (Before then, we were on holiday so... yeah. Never mind.) Maybe it's a side-effect of me shutting down my own feelings--I find myself increasingly insensitive to those of others. It's practically a skill of mine by now, to start off a conversation on the wrong foot--and then, through my amazing power of tact, to rip open wounds old and new and leave my counterpart (metaphorically!) bleeding away.
It's odd, but I find myself quite emotionless these days. It's as if I just turned off a tap--apart from the occasional drip of annoyance or worry, I feel nothing about anything. I'm not even sure these days what I feel. Like now, for example, I'm not sure whether I should be happy about this (I have, after all, extolled the vices of emotion on multiple occasions) or worried (most books I read place great importance on having a balanced emotional life--or on having an emotional life at all for that matter).
Maybe I'm just being apathetic, or maybe it's just that AS and stuff is getting to me. The applications are out, and I've sent them to the relevant teachers to approve--I need recommendations from every teacher to sit for the exams. Unfortunately, I failed one Physics paper last year, and so I didn't get the recommendation from Mr. Who. Now I'm going to have to write a letter begging to sit for it and promising to study hard, devote my life to revision, write a will leaving everything I have to the Physics department, etc. etc, and hope that it'll get through and I'll be able to sit for the exam.
And what's more, the payment for this semester is due next week, and my schedule has ruled out the possibility of me going to the bank to pay it on any day except Saturday. And on Saturday, guess what? The banks only work until 12.30. And that's assuming they're open at all--I'm completely ignorant of banking holidays. For all I know they could have a rule about not opening on the Saturdays of every month ending in Y.
I might as well describe my room-mate here. The old one had his STPM last November and has vanished--probably got sick of the room. I know I would--so they stuck a freshman with me this year. He's my sister's coursemate, and seems to be a real geekling, the type who wouldn't be caught dead without a thick novel in hand. In other words, very much like yours truly. Our main differences are that his hair isn't green, he brought a radio, and he's much neater than I am. (He's even put up a chores table detailing who sweeps and mops the floor on any given day.)
And did I mention his hands are possibly glued to his reference books? Almost every moment I see him in the room, there's a thick book in hand, usually Biology or Chemistry. I ought to admire his diligence, but I just get guilt.
He also seems to be (temporarily, I hope) modelling his schedule after mine. No, I don't mean daily four hours online. I do mean sleeping when I sleep, going to the bathroom when I go, and waking when I wake (although given that the bed squeaks and my alarm is very loud, it's no wonder). He'll get some serious health problems if he's not careful. I'm immune to myself.
By the way, I slept past 12 last night and woke at 6.30 this morning; so I was rather drowsy all today. I should take a nap, but the Net is so alluring! I have an excuse: a guy from church just turned 21 and lst night was his party.
So that's it. A short summary of everything I think important enough to record for the past two weeks.
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