A Very Long Time of Us
I can't wait for May, and yet I don't want May to ever come. I want to be in thirty different places at once and yet I want to be nowhere at all. I want to smile, scream, laugh, shiver, brood, doze off...
I can't believe it's only been a week since the Coconut decided to accept me. I think there's some part of me that still can't believe I'm both a single unit and half a unit at the same time, and surely there must be a reason I grin stupidly at the monitor every time people ask about Us.
The Coconut and I MSN every night, until either of us decides to sleep. It's a poor substitute for her hand and the sound of her voice, but it's all we've got; unless I decide to start writing handwritten letters and chance it that she can read my handwriting. Or we could Skype, perhaps, but the bandwidth is unpredictable and besides she doesn't have a mike or a webcam, unless she recently bought either. Like Pon and Zi, I'm reduced to muttering that the computer doesn't hug you back, but sometimes it's all you've got.
So far the Corn and a whole bunch of people from my forums have popped up to say Congratulations, and after that they ask what seems to be a sort of checklist of questions to ask the newly-official: How'd you meet? What attracted you? What've you done so far? What's she look like? Is she Singaporean? And so on. Perhaps, though, perhaps God planned this separation business, dislike it as we may.
Perhaps it's forcing us to know each other better, without the distraction of physical stuff in the way; perhaps it's God's way of letting this stuff proceed in an orderly manner--heaven knows, it's the first one for both of us and we neither of us know what's supposed to happen next. At any rate, the Coconut keeps on popping up around me. Everything seems to remind me... Cats, because she's allergic to their dander. Candy floss, because we ate some the day we went official. Broken taps, because she broke one... and I'm so proud of her being able to do that!
Maybe I sound incoherent, or something, or nothing, I don't know. It's 1.35am to me.
A huge blessing, I must admit, is that she's Christian, because it puts me into the love-me-love-my-stuff position: she is, may I say, one of the major contributing factors to me reviving my quiet times; the last time I did these regularly was RBS, one full year ago... I don't regret it one bit. The quiet time I mean. The RBS I certainly don't regret either, but right now it's not the main issue.
Quiet time is pretty much exactly that. It's quiet time when you can be alone with God. For me, it's usually after my roommate falls asleep; not that I'm ashamed, but that I don't want to be distracted by anything, and I think best in the darkness of my room, when effectively alone. And... God actually speaks. It was, I admit, difficult to get past the first day or two... and then I realised that the verses under consideration actually were relevant to me. I don't know how He does it, but He does. And I can only thank Him for the Coconut's good influence... Of course I'm not perfect. Far from it. But at least I think I'm on the track and making a little bit of progress.
I guess this is a sort of honeymoon period. The Corn has commented already that I seem perfectly immune to criticism at the moment; and perhaps it is. I wouldn't know. But I can't wait for May, when I'll see her again.
Unfortunately, there's a bunch of exams to go and I really don't want that time to arrive...
I can't believe it's only been a week since the Coconut decided to accept me. I think there's some part of me that still can't believe I'm both a single unit and half a unit at the same time, and surely there must be a reason I grin stupidly at the monitor every time people ask about Us.
The Coconut and I MSN every night, until either of us decides to sleep. It's a poor substitute for her hand and the sound of her voice, but it's all we've got; unless I decide to start writing handwritten letters and chance it that she can read my handwriting. Or we could Skype, perhaps, but the bandwidth is unpredictable and besides she doesn't have a mike or a webcam, unless she recently bought either. Like Pon and Zi, I'm reduced to muttering that the computer doesn't hug you back, but sometimes it's all you've got.
So far the Corn and a whole bunch of people from my forums have popped up to say Congratulations, and after that they ask what seems to be a sort of checklist of questions to ask the newly-official: How'd you meet? What attracted you? What've you done so far? What's she look like? Is she Singaporean? And so on. Perhaps, though, perhaps God planned this separation business, dislike it as we may.
Perhaps it's forcing us to know each other better, without the distraction of physical stuff in the way; perhaps it's God's way of letting this stuff proceed in an orderly manner--heaven knows, it's the first one for both of us and we neither of us know what's supposed to happen next. At any rate, the Coconut keeps on popping up around me. Everything seems to remind me... Cats, because she's allergic to their dander. Candy floss, because we ate some the day we went official. Broken taps, because she broke one... and I'm so proud of her being able to do that!
Maybe I sound incoherent, or something, or nothing, I don't know. It's 1.35am to me.
A huge blessing, I must admit, is that she's Christian, because it puts me into the love-me-love-my-stuff position: she is, may I say, one of the major contributing factors to me reviving my quiet times; the last time I did these regularly was RBS, one full year ago... I don't regret it one bit. The quiet time I mean. The RBS I certainly don't regret either, but right now it's not the main issue.
Quiet time is pretty much exactly that. It's quiet time when you can be alone with God. For me, it's usually after my roommate falls asleep; not that I'm ashamed, but that I don't want to be distracted by anything, and I think best in the darkness of my room, when effectively alone. And... God actually speaks. It was, I admit, difficult to get past the first day or two... and then I realised that the verses under consideration actually were relevant to me. I don't know how He does it, but He does. And I can only thank Him for the Coconut's good influence... Of course I'm not perfect. Far from it. But at least I think I'm on the track and making a little bit of progress.
I guess this is a sort of honeymoon period. The Corn has commented already that I seem perfectly immune to criticism at the moment; and perhaps it is. I wouldn't know. But I can't wait for May, when I'll see her again.
Unfortunately, there's a bunch of exams to go and I really don't want that time to arrive...
Comments
congratz! congratz!