A Bit of a Review

As the title hints, this post is mostly going to be about some movies I've seen and my opinions of them. Most of them are musicals, however, so people who haven't got ears might as well skip away.

The Phantom of the Opera
Watched: Last year in the Big S
Rating: Pretty good.

I really like this movie, which is a lot considering that the plotline was crazy. This is why I don't like book adaptations: a lot of details get left out and then the movies finished with a heckuva lot of loose ends. Most annoying. In any case, if you only watch the movie, you get the idea that Raoul is an idiot who came along and seduced Christine against the Phantom.

Yes, I know he has a name, but the Phantom sounds much more memorable.

But the vocals are really impressive, even if the dancing isn't much to look at (except for Masquerade). I especially liked the dialogue songs--the type where there're more than one singers and they're singing at each other.

In rhyme, no less, which is more than I can do.

The dark atmosphere of the film no doubt helped a lot, but I still think the book would be better. I can't be sure since I haven't read it--the book isn't in my library.

My only complaint is that I still can't find the scoresheets anywhere online.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
Watched: This year in So Hour (my grandfather's house)
Rating: Not bad

Yes, I like fantasy. So sue me. I read the book years and years ago, so every single plot twist was nothing surprising to me. In fact I believe my brother tried to stop me from leaking spoilers every time a new character turned up. ("That's Mr. Tumnus. T-U-M-N-U-S. He's a faun, which means he's half goat and half human...")

I've always thought it was a pretty well-done analogy, but it's a pity that (like all other book adaptations) the plot got mutilated into a nothing of its former self. Loads of perfectly good characters got left out--I was waiting for Giant Rumblebuffin and the egotistical stone lion, but-- oh well.

The special effects were quite nicely done, but the White Witch was nothing like what the book makes her out to be. For one thing, "deathly pale" does not mean "fair and lightly tanned". And "long black hair" is not a synonym for "golden blonde". And besides, it's quite clearly stated that she holds a wand. Not a staff. She's the White Witch, not Gandalf!

I don't want to nitpick either, but I must say that the turning-to-stone effect would've worked much better if the victims weren't always screaming. More of the surprise factor--let them think it's just a statue first and then let them realise it's a real living being.

With those screaming faces all I can think of is gargoyles, which aren't--in my experience at least--scary at all.

I didn't like Susan one bit, though--she played the evil bossy sister to perfection. And she had that scrunched-up look on her face most of the time.

Grease
Watched: Last week in the Gorilla's house
Rating: Pretty good.

I gotta hand it to the makers, they really reproduced the era perfectly, down to the incessant hair-combing and maniacal dance-moves (does wiggling the behind count as dancing anyway?).

It's another of those lovely soundtracks, very heavy on the beat and the minor chords. I like my songs energetic and in minor keys.

So far I've tried to get some of the songs by memory, which really oughtn't to be that difficult--but it seems that, contrary to popular belief, the music of the '60s actually had more chord progressions than we do now.

In any case, the joie de vivre is very infectious, and I must admit the lyrics still appear relevant. One of the more memorable lines for me goes "To cry in front of you/ That's the worst thing I could do", and seriously I think that the worst thing anyone could do would be to cry in front of me.

(This is mostly because I have a very limited supply of sympathy and I'm not at all good at emotional support. And nobody likes crying in front of somebody who keeps on wanting to know what they're crying about and then corrects their pronunciation.)

In any case, I think I might want to watch this one again, just so I can listen to the songs. I especially liked Beauty School Dropout. Full of guilt trips, whack-me-downs, and uplifting stuff like that.

Rumour Has It
Watched: Last night in the Gorilla's house
Rating: Medium bad

The plot sucks. It's like the writer couldn't think of anything to do, so he lumped a bunch of cliches together and stuck them in a blender, then pureed the result and made it a movie.

For one thing, the lead character is completely stupid and hasn't got anything that even seems like an ounce of brain. Maybe what they say about blondes is true.

And then she calls herself confused because she doesn't know what to do--which, of course, is only because she's been busy relying on her feelings. Apparently every child is supposed to drive/play tennis/look like both their parents, and if not then their mother had an affair.

Her fiancee is equally dumb--or maybe I should say he's a complete chump. He catches her kissing some old man at a party, blows up at her, and then barely five minutes after she says sorry, he's rushing down the stairs to beat the elevator so he can stand there as she gets out and forgive her.

Of course, in the movie he's a lawyer so I'm sure there's some loophole in there, but the point is he was practically throwing himself at her. A hidden feminist message, I suppose.

And I won't even go into the other characters, since they were so one-sided (the super-horny dirty old man who slept with the heroine, her mother, and her grandmother is an example).

And then I bet somebody had the bright idea of leaving things open for a possible sequel and decided to entwine every single life in the movie together in a Gordian knot. Something like this: the heroine's father kicked the heroine's mother's boyfriend in the balls during a football game accident and caused the boyfriend to become sterile but the boyfriend's team still won the game so the father still doesn't really like the boyfriend even though all this was 30 years ago.

Crazy.

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