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Exams will be here in another two weeks or so, so I’d better post as much as I can about what’s been happening before the computer gets a Do Not Touch sticker on its screen. Anyway, I’m just posting this because the charitable classmate mentioned in connection with Vanity Fair below asked me when I’d be blogging again. Well, here’s her answer. Also, Herr Robson (another classmate but not necessarily charitable) told me that my blog was just one long list of rants and insults, so I think I’ll make this post as sugary as possible so nobody can accuse me of libel.
I just made up my list of Things to be Grateful For, and first on the list is that I’m not female. (Some of my classmates would claim that I’m not human either, but that’s beside the point.) My Biology teacher just finished enumerating the pains and toils of birth and childrearing, and I am so glad I’m not going to suffer all that! Then again, if it was easy, it wouldn’t be called labour, would it?
And then, of course, I won the argument with the charitable classmate about male superiority! She claims that women are better than men since they were created second, and the latest models are always better. I say that men were made first because they are No. 1. Plus with the clinching argument…guys don’t get pregnant, muahahahaha.
Okay, that’s the end of the list, and now to butter up Herr Robson.
List of Reasons to See Herr Robson as a Role Model
*He got the best marks in class for several subjects.
*He makes sure everybody knows that he got the best marks in class for several subjects.
*His head is crammed full of useless knowledge.
*He shows off his useless knowledge at every opportunity.
*He learned how to speak Chinese within 3 years.
*He learned how to swear in Chinese within 3 days.
*He is dedicated to making his blog the best that it can be.
*His ideal blog is extremely complicated and stuffed with JavaScript, and would probably take an hour to download fully with broadband.
*He has great self-esteem, and that is putting it mildly.
*His ego is roughly ten and a half times the size of the Milky Way.
…that’s about it, or am I being sarcastic again? Oh well, que sera sera. If he must be offended then let him be!
I’ve been getting some truly lovely weather recently. Thank God for the typhoons, the wind and the rain are simply perfect sleeping weather. And it makes walking home from school so much more comfortable compared to when it’s sunny. It reminds me of the Arab who visited Britain; when he returned, he told his friends that he loved Britain: “It rained every day”. Well, this is supposed to be a rainforest country, so rain should be an everyday occurrence, which it isn’t. Oh well, no-one’s perfect, least of all yours truly. But then at least I do admit it, which counts for something, doesn’t it?
Everyone seems to be obsessed with driving lessons these days, even my sister, who wants me to take driving lessons ASAP. (She calls them Chauffer Training Courses, which pretty much explains why she wants me to drive—she needs/wants frequent visits to the local shopping malls.) Anyway, I do not want to learn driving just yet. Here’re some reasons why.
Why Not to Learn Driving.
*My hand-eye coordination being zero on a scale of one to ten, I will most likely raze the nearest building upon commencement of said lessons.
*The sight of me in public could frighten little children or cause heart attacks in senior citizens.
*I don’t have any money to pay for gas.
*I haven’t the least idea of what’s under the bonnet and I don’t want to know, either. Knowledge of cars’ inner anatomy comes under my heading of Useless Knowledge.
*That’s enough.
Besides, unlike the rich people that make up about 99% of my class’s population, I haven’t the money to pay for the lessons or the car repair bills (what, you think I can raze the local landmarks and not scratch the car?).
Poor me (sob sob sob).
I just made up my list of Things to be Grateful For, and first on the list is that I’m not female. (Some of my classmates would claim that I’m not human either, but that’s beside the point.) My Biology teacher just finished enumerating the pains and toils of birth and childrearing, and I am so glad I’m not going to suffer all that! Then again, if it was easy, it wouldn’t be called labour, would it?
And then, of course, I won the argument with the charitable classmate about male superiority! She claims that women are better than men since they were created second, and the latest models are always better. I say that men were made first because they are No. 1. Plus with the clinching argument…guys don’t get pregnant, muahahahaha.
Okay, that’s the end of the list, and now to butter up Herr Robson.
List of Reasons to See Herr Robson as a Role Model
*He got the best marks in class for several subjects.
*He makes sure everybody knows that he got the best marks in class for several subjects.
*His head is crammed full of useless knowledge.
*He shows off his useless knowledge at every opportunity.
*He learned how to speak Chinese within 3 years.
*He learned how to swear in Chinese within 3 days.
*He is dedicated to making his blog the best that it can be.
*His ideal blog is extremely complicated and stuffed with JavaScript, and would probably take an hour to download fully with broadband.
*He has great self-esteem, and that is putting it mildly.
*His ego is roughly ten and a half times the size of the Milky Way.
…that’s about it, or am I being sarcastic again? Oh well, que sera sera. If he must be offended then let him be!
I’ve been getting some truly lovely weather recently. Thank God for the typhoons, the wind and the rain are simply perfect sleeping weather. And it makes walking home from school so much more comfortable compared to when it’s sunny. It reminds me of the Arab who visited Britain; when he returned, he told his friends that he loved Britain: “It rained every day”. Well, this is supposed to be a rainforest country, so rain should be an everyday occurrence, which it isn’t. Oh well, no-one’s perfect, least of all yours truly. But then at least I do admit it, which counts for something, doesn’t it?
Everyone seems to be obsessed with driving lessons these days, even my sister, who wants me to take driving lessons ASAP. (She calls them Chauffer Training Courses, which pretty much explains why she wants me to drive—she needs/wants frequent visits to the local shopping malls.) Anyway, I do not want to learn driving just yet. Here’re some reasons why.
Why Not to Learn Driving.
*My hand-eye coordination being zero on a scale of one to ten, I will most likely raze the nearest building upon commencement of said lessons.
*The sight of me in public could frighten little children or cause heart attacks in senior citizens.
*I don’t have any money to pay for gas.
*I haven’t the least idea of what’s under the bonnet and I don’t want to know, either. Knowledge of cars’ inner anatomy comes under my heading of Useless Knowledge.
*That’s enough.
Besides, unlike the rich people that make up about 99% of my class’s population, I haven’t the money to pay for the lessons or the car repair bills (what, you think I can raze the local landmarks and not scratch the car?).
Poor me (sob sob sob).
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