Warning: Much Bitching
I have been vomiting and having diarrhoea for most of the past 3 days. Treatment administered by family: plenty of walking, abstinence from all beverages but plain cold water (and I do mean cold), and absolutely no sympathy. It’s irritating, to say the least.
Anyway, I’ll now recapitulate the events of the past few days (behold my sacrifice: for this blog I prevail against sickness!). on Friday, nothing occurred but that we went to a local cell group, some of which’s members I later saw in church. On Saturday, we went to Suzhou and stayed there for about 6 hours, during which we bought nightgowns, thick hats, shawls, fans, and other trifling stuff for a fraction of the prices written on their tags. Yesterday, we went to Canal’s in the morning for a house church service and to get our left-behind things back. After that, we went to the church proper for the English services and a cantata, which was quite well done and enjoyable. At night, I had some fries and ½ a burger for dinner, but found neither quite to my taste and promptly threw up, thereby wasting perfectly bad food over which only the most desperately hungry person would have drooled.
Right now, I’m highly annoyed with my family. (It happens all the time in large families; I’m told that my dad had 12 siblings and their house was never peaceful.) Warning to all: the following paragraphs are unadulterated bitching and should be disregarded as the product of a very unsettled, sick, prone-to-persecution-complexes mind.
But now, it’s back to my bitching. I don’t like them, and they don’t like me. I’m annoyed by their complete lack of sympathy for my weakened condition, not that I was very strong to begin with anyway. They also have this tendency to point all blame and guilt my way, as well as the fact that all arguments are my fault, and I’m never in the right, and everything I say has to be repeated 20 times before they realise I’m talking, and I’m supposed to be perfectly nice to them no matter how they are. Not to mention my kid brother’s incessant shrieking, shouting, screaming, and otherwise mangling rock songs. It was bad enough in KK; much more so here in this tiny little flat. I can tolerate high decibels and quick tempo, but most emphatically NOT first thing in the morning, and even more certainly not when I’m sick!!
They dislike me, of course, but I have no idea why. Who cares? Those [extremely distasteful expletives deleted] people I live with don’t need any logic but ‘Big Brother is always wrong until proven right, at which time he will be made to be in the wrong by force’. And then my parents have used the old, old method of turning into The Control Freaks from God Only Knows Where, and they’re now threatening to send me back to KK early to the accompaniment of hysterical clapping from my siblings. It’s all very annoying. OK, bitching over. I really needed to get that out of my system; I’ve seen what repressing anger does to a person, and it’s not pretty.
Of course, this probably can all be explained by my having a persecution complex, which means that I constantly see things as me against the world, with the world winning. According to several tests, my personality is Melancholy Choleric, which boils down to that I am easily offended and occasionally go into temporary depression, as those who have sat near me for long periods of time probably know by now. You can get better explanations online, but I think of it as the Perfectionist/ Control Freak combo.
Anyway, I’ll now recapitulate the events of the past few days (behold my sacrifice: for this blog I prevail against sickness!). on Friday, nothing occurred but that we went to a local cell group, some of which’s members I later saw in church. On Saturday, we went to Suzhou and stayed there for about 6 hours, during which we bought nightgowns, thick hats, shawls, fans, and other trifling stuff for a fraction of the prices written on their tags. Yesterday, we went to Canal’s in the morning for a house church service and to get our left-behind things back. After that, we went to the church proper for the English services and a cantata, which was quite well done and enjoyable. At night, I had some fries and ½ a burger for dinner, but found neither quite to my taste and promptly threw up, thereby wasting perfectly bad food over which only the most desperately hungry person would have drooled.
Right now, I’m highly annoyed with my family. (It happens all the time in large families; I’m told that my dad had 12 siblings and their house was never peaceful.) Warning to all: the following paragraphs are unadulterated bitching and should be disregarded as the product of a very unsettled, sick, prone-to-persecution-complexes mind.
But now, it’s back to my bitching. I don’t like them, and they don’t like me. I’m annoyed by their complete lack of sympathy for my weakened condition, not that I was very strong to begin with anyway. They also have this tendency to point all blame and guilt my way, as well as the fact that all arguments are my fault, and I’m never in the right, and everything I say has to be repeated 20 times before they realise I’m talking, and I’m supposed to be perfectly nice to them no matter how they are. Not to mention my kid brother’s incessant shrieking, shouting, screaming, and otherwise mangling rock songs. It was bad enough in KK; much more so here in this tiny little flat. I can tolerate high decibels and quick tempo, but most emphatically NOT first thing in the morning, and even more certainly not when I’m sick!!
They dislike me, of course, but I have no idea why. Who cares? Those [extremely distasteful expletives deleted] people I live with don’t need any logic but ‘Big Brother is always wrong until proven right, at which time he will be made to be in the wrong by force’. And then my parents have used the old, old method of turning into The Control Freaks from God Only Knows Where, and they’re now threatening to send me back to KK early to the accompaniment of hysterical clapping from my siblings. It’s all very annoying. OK, bitching over. I really needed to get that out of my system; I’ve seen what repressing anger does to a person, and it’s not pretty.
Of course, this probably can all be explained by my having a persecution complex, which means that I constantly see things as me against the world, with the world winning. According to several tests, my personality is Melancholy Choleric, which boils down to that I am easily offended and occasionally go into temporary depression, as those who have sat near me for long periods of time probably know by now. You can get better explanations online, but I think of it as the Perfectionist/ Control Freak combo.
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