Rambling Thoughts
Technically speaking, I'm on my holidays now. Thank God for friendly people! I met a guy on the road, and during conversation with him I remembered that the College facilities stay available while any students at all are having classes. Which means that even if I don't, the Diploma students do, and so the computer lab is open, and so I'm here typing this post.
I just changed my handphone number, and spent at least three bucks SMS-ing everybody on my list about it. Fortunately now my father is financing it, so I don't have to worry too much about the spending.
Herr Robson has been nagging me for months about some forum the school has that he set up. I've visited it, spammed it, and now when I check, it's like a ghost town. Nobody ever puts up replies to my messages except Herr Robson. I can only suppose my typings are a little too sharp.
Then again, I've been described by other people as 'blunt'. As in, I have absolutely no tact at all. I usually tell people what I'm thinking, a trait which has landed me in gallons and gallons of hot soup, and then end up eating my foot. It's not a very nice taste.
Anyway, I was thinking that college promises to be most interesting. For one thing, I could totally reinvent myself from scratch. I've given the matter some thought. Firstly, as far as anyone knows, I could've been the teacher's pet or the first name on the horror roll or the head of the local Mafia. Secondly, nobody usually goes and does research on these things. Anything I tell people is, I've noted, often taken as truth. Thirdly, I move in several different circles--the school one, the hostel one, and the church one--and none of them intersect. I could quite literally find myself living a triple life if I'm not careful.
Of course, I can't do a 180-degree change just like that. My clothes have a tendency to give me away; Gene's not the first to say that my method of dressing is rather more formal than most. I went to a shopping mall this weekend and he was right. Nobody dresses quite the way I do. And the way I dress (according to Gene) screams 'Nerd! Nerd! Nerd!' from a mile off. So of course I can't turn myself into the ultracool dude from suburbia. I think that the next time I go shopping, I shall buy some more casual-looking clothes. With a little guidance, of course. I distrust my own instincts when it comes to clothes.
I watched a movie last night. It's the first one I can think of that I've watched before the Pig. It's called Madagascar. It's quite funny, but lacked a certain something that kept it at 'Not So Good'. I'm not sure just what that is, but I'll think about it a little.
I'm definitely below average in this post. I think it may be my lack of sleep last night, my chronic hunger, or the gnawing sense of loneliness that has been assaulting me since the holidays began. I miss my home dreadfully. I never realised this until I was watching the rain the other day. (It has been very rainy this past week.) But you know, I do miss everybody so much. I may be sounding a little (or more than a little!) irrational here, but emotions are never rational. I seldom trust them, but feelings have an irritating tendency to override logic. Like this morning when I threw all financial computations to the wind and phoned up the Pig--and ended up boiling an hour of telephone porridge. Yes, I know, I lost control. But then I lose control on a daily basis. I keep losing control when surfing the Net (when that happens, I call it random surfing), reading in the library (you wouldn't believe the amount of classics in there--oh glory!), and talking to people. I guess I'm a little more extroverted than I thought.
If only I'd stayed back in Sabah, I wouldn't be in this quandary. I wouldn't be all alone here, surrounded by strange faces, dealing with a whole new social hierarchy, having to make a completely new circle of friends. I'd be comfortable, full, and surrounded by people I'm familiar with.
But then I guess everything has its pros and cons. Right now I'm waiting for the pros to come out of hiding.
Sith. I've gone and talked myself into self-pity again. I suppose I'm going to have to put this on the 'Lose Control' list too.
I just changed my handphone number, and spent at least three bucks SMS-ing everybody on my list about it. Fortunately now my father is financing it, so I don't have to worry too much about the spending.
Herr Robson has been nagging me for months about some forum the school has that he set up. I've visited it, spammed it, and now when I check, it's like a ghost town. Nobody ever puts up replies to my messages except Herr Robson. I can only suppose my typings are a little too sharp.
Then again, I've been described by other people as 'blunt'. As in, I have absolutely no tact at all. I usually tell people what I'm thinking, a trait which has landed me in gallons and gallons of hot soup, and then end up eating my foot. It's not a very nice taste.
Anyway, I was thinking that college promises to be most interesting. For one thing, I could totally reinvent myself from scratch. I've given the matter some thought. Firstly, as far as anyone knows, I could've been the teacher's pet or the first name on the horror roll or the head of the local Mafia. Secondly, nobody usually goes and does research on these things. Anything I tell people is, I've noted, often taken as truth. Thirdly, I move in several different circles--the school one, the hostel one, and the church one--and none of them intersect. I could quite literally find myself living a triple life if I'm not careful.
Of course, I can't do a 180-degree change just like that. My clothes have a tendency to give me away; Gene's not the first to say that my method of dressing is rather more formal than most. I went to a shopping mall this weekend and he was right. Nobody dresses quite the way I do. And the way I dress (according to Gene) screams 'Nerd! Nerd! Nerd!' from a mile off. So of course I can't turn myself into the ultracool dude from suburbia. I think that the next time I go shopping, I shall buy some more casual-looking clothes. With a little guidance, of course. I distrust my own instincts when it comes to clothes.
I watched a movie last night. It's the first one I can think of that I've watched before the Pig. It's called Madagascar. It's quite funny, but lacked a certain something that kept it at 'Not So Good'. I'm not sure just what that is, but I'll think about it a little.
I'm definitely below average in this post. I think it may be my lack of sleep last night, my chronic hunger, or the gnawing sense of loneliness that has been assaulting me since the holidays began. I miss my home dreadfully. I never realised this until I was watching the rain the other day. (It has been very rainy this past week.) But you know, I do miss everybody so much. I may be sounding a little (or more than a little!) irrational here, but emotions are never rational. I seldom trust them, but feelings have an irritating tendency to override logic. Like this morning when I threw all financial computations to the wind and phoned up the Pig--and ended up boiling an hour of telephone porridge. Yes, I know, I lost control. But then I lose control on a daily basis. I keep losing control when surfing the Net (when that happens, I call it random surfing), reading in the library (you wouldn't believe the amount of classics in there--oh glory!), and talking to people. I guess I'm a little more extroverted than I thought.
If only I'd stayed back in Sabah, I wouldn't be in this quandary. I wouldn't be all alone here, surrounded by strange faces, dealing with a whole new social hierarchy, having to make a completely new circle of friends. I'd be comfortable, full, and surrounded by people I'm familiar with.
But then I guess everything has its pros and cons. Right now I'm waiting for the pros to come out of hiding.
Sith. I've gone and talked myself into self-pity again. I suppose I'm going to have to put this on the 'Lose Control' list too.
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