I Want to Know What I Want

So, school's started, and I'm getting all swept along in schoolwork and various stuff. Add to this that Darth Bo, being very active in the Campus Crusade, is transmitting this activity to me by seeming osmosis, plus the fact that I have several little personal projects going on at the moment, and now you have a quite frantic me--though, I suppose, to the casual observer I look exactly like a relaxed University-goer sitting calmly and typing out a blog entry while shaking legs.

I also recently decided I want a new body shape, as far as my decisions ever go, and Just Cash (who apparently is a gym bunny in addition to his other achievements) says I'm at just the right weight to do it since I'm 0.1 on the BMI scale away from overweightness. Unfortunately I have no idea what to do in a gym, and not being a gym bunny myself, I'm rather intimidated by gym bunnies. Just Cash, though, thinks there's nothing to be afraid of--while I freely admit to feelings of deep and abiding insecurity when surrounded by hellish-looking torture machines and people who look perfectly comfortable and at ease with said hellish-looking torture machines.

...well, yes, I know that calling them such will give me a bad impression and further demotivate me, but really, gyms (to me) have always resembled the torture or experimental chambers of a deranged sadistic scientist, while the regular inhabitants (pardon me if you are one and reading this!) fit the general perception of a Mook quite nicely--you know, large build and muscles and (despite them being in the University!) brains not being quite what stands out in the appearance.

Still, I suppose I should venture in some day, if I want to look anything like a Mook that is, though it'd be nice to fill out the new shirt the Gorilla gave me a bit more: it's somewhat loose on me at the moment, which is flattering in a way. Maybe I'll get some more advice from Just Cash or whomever happens to seem like they might be useful for such a thing. Maybe I'll even get Easy Kill in there: after all he's trying to lose weight, right?

And then now there's this Crusade thing going on... I don't know, really. I mean I know it's a good thing and all, but leading a group of any sort scares me. Even making the phonecalls to the contacts and asking if they want to know more about the Crusade or come to the next event (a Freshmen Welcome thing) worries me because I don't like initiating contact with strangers even if it's only over the phone. Very scary business, especially since (as Herr Robson said) it's not just a phonecall, it's potentially a gateway for the freshmen into the Crusade for the rest of their stay here and possibly beyond...

Way to psyche yourself up for a phonecall, me; but then of the three contacts I got, one didn't pick up the phone, one was simply not there (either out of the country or something), and the one who picked up... startled me so much that I simply babbled some nonsense and he eventually agreed to come to the Freshmen Welcome thing. I've still no idea whether I did it right but my hunch is that I failed it, if you can fail a phone call. And now I'm feeling guilty about it, but really... when I make these phone calls, I'm almost torn between hoping they don't answer and hoping they do; hoping they do, because it's good and "what I should do" and the administration procedure desires it, plus because it'll be good for them (hopefully); but hoping they don't because then I avoid a lot of potential embarrassment and difficulty in finding words to say. I know there's a sample script provided, but... I'll just sound even more exaggeratedly scripted.

See, if I could talk like I type then there wouldn't be any trouble at all; but I don't, and anyway who wants to talk at 60wpm a minute (more or less)? Such a slow pace.

And my camera is busted. I don't know why, but it displays the Battery Exhausted screen whenever I try to turn it on, even though I keep putting fresh batteries in. I took it to a dealership this afternoon and they took one look at the batteries and said the batteries could've caused it... though really, aren't all AA batteries alkaline? I still can't make head or tail of it, so I'll be going to another dealership tomorrow with the warranty and see what happens. I hope it's not really very busted though...

I got a hall! Hall 10 though, which is clear across the campus. I think I might ask somebody to loan me their car for a day, or hire a taxi; no way am I handcarrying all my stuff all the way there. It'd take me ages and I'd be in no state to study after it besides.

As it is there's a lot of stuff going on and I simply

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